


The Rose

by weddingbells



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Pining, Questioning Sexuality, the bachelor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-17 18:52:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2319797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weddingbells/pseuds/weddingbells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While working as a model, Zach Rance would be the first to admit that he probably could use some more excitement in his life. Like really. So when his best friend Drew sign him up to be the new Bachelor, Zach doesn’t complain. He really doesn’t complain when he gets picked either, because spending weeks in a luxury house, going on dates with beautiful girls, getting known all over America and just have the time of his life? He loves it. Nothing can go wrong. Except for the thing that every day, each of the girls seem to get more and more dull to be around, especially when the host sidekick, Frankie Grande, is so much more interesting. Way, way, way more interesting…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One thing I can’t get enough of is Zankie, so here is an AU to you. This will be the main post where chapters will be posted soon enough (just be calm!). I will try to post at least one chapter a week. Feedback is always welcome. Crappy edit by me. Also I try to be as true to the show The Bachelor as possible, but I may come up with some ideas for rules and stuff, I hope you will accept that. Also this is fiction, while based on the public personas of Frankie and Zach this is not real, I do not own them, I do not own Big Brother or The Bachelor, all I own is a mind of fiction.

 

Zach really couldn’t believe his luck. He really, really, really couldn’t believe his luck. He was the luckiest guy in the world right now because he was _The Bachelor_. He was the fucking _Bachelor_!

He hadn’t been able to sit down for five seconds since the production company called him. It had been in the afternoon and he had just gotten back from his work, an early photo shoot for some perfume he now couldn’t remember the name of, it probably wasn’t a very good one anyway. He had been in the shoot with some of the more known models, one guy who was completely full of himself and seemed to wonder what Zach was doing there, and some girl who seemed more interested in the way her nails looked than anything else. More than once Zach had wanted to stand up and yell at her that no one wasn’t even going to pay any attention to her nails, but he didn’t. He needed the money, and even though he wasn’t a crappy model, and not bad to look at, he didn’t easily land all the model jobs he wanted, which meant he really couldn’t afford to get rumored as having a bad attitude.

Anyway, he had been in a kind of crappy mood when he left the shoot, because he also was out of coffee and had therefor spent the whole day without it, since the shoot also only served water with lemon, or cucumber. Disgusting. He had no idea why they didn’t have coffee. If they were worried about bad breath they could offer gum. At least coffee kept him awake, while cucumber water certainly didn’t.

He had just bought himself a cup of coffee, Starbucks, biggest size they had because he really needed that, and he was gulping it down like it was elixir of life which might be partly true, when he felt his phone buzzing in his bag. He quickly got it out, hoping to god it wouldn’t be the perfume people wanting him to come back to re-shoot or something, but it wasn’t. It was an unknown number and he was puzzled when he picked up.

“Rance.”

“Hello.” A male voice, sounding extremely buff, was on the other line. “My name is Derrick, we spoke earlier about auditions for The Bachelor.”

Zach was confused, at first. He didn’t really remember what this could be about until he remembered that his friend Drew had signed him up for The Bachelor as a joke and Zach had thought it was hilarious cause hey – girls! They had been talking over a few beers, both of them had been a bit tipsy when Drew saw the ad, so of course they thought it was a good idea. It had been, Zach really just hadn’t thought that anyway would be interested in his silly audition which was basically him without a shirt talking about how great he was with romance. He nodded, and then realized the man on the other line couldn’t hear him nod, so he spoke up.

“Derrick. Hello there, yes this is me. What’s up?”

He was so stupid on the phone but he didn’t really care. Derrick shifted around some papers on the other side of the line before he spoke again.

“Listen man, we loved your audition here. You’ve got it all, the looks, the modest career, the fun sense of humor and you seem to be very easy going. We would be lucky to have you as The Bachelor which is the reason of my call, we want you to accept and come meet us tomorrow to go over details and contracts.”

Zach stopped walking then, because it was a lot of information at once and it didn’t seem really _true_.

“Wait.” He said, hoping he wouldn’t sound rude or something and make Derrick change his mind. “Are you sure? Me?”

Derrick sounded amused as he answered his question.

“Yes, that’s why I’m calling you Zach. So, would you like to come over tomorrow? I’m sure you won’t regret being _The Bachelor_ , we got a really nice team behind it all and the girls this year are extremely pretty.”

“Fuck yeah!” The words were out before Zach could stop himself. “God, fuck, I’m sorry I promise I won’t curse on TV.”

Derrick chuckled, and it made Zach feel more comfortable.

“Don’t worry about it man, if you do we’ll edit it out. I’ll have the address texted to you, and I’ll see you tomorrow, 11am.”

“Yes, yes, of course yes I’ll be there.” Zach stammered, unable to form sentences that made sense at that point.

They hung up and Zach made it to his apartment before he let out a scream of joy, fist in the air and feeling as if he won the jackpot.

 

**

It’s green and water and it’s beautiful, it’s the only way Zach can describe the place. He steps out of the limo, taking a look around and trying to just admire the view when Derrick shows up. He is wearing a suit and a headset, looking more as an agent than the production leader.

“Hey there, Zach.” He greets him with a strong, firm handshake, just like the first time they met. “Your room is being set up right this moment, come on inside and you’ll see where the girls will be staying, where we will have the rose ceremony, rooms for video diaries and everything. Then you’ll meet Cody again, the host.”

Zach nods, feeling like a child on Christmas as he follows Derrick through the beautiful garden, waterfalls and ponds and probably those fish that are supposed to bring feng shui, or what it’s called, he doesn’t remember. The house is bigger, honestly it’s more of a mansion or a castle and when Derrick leads him inside, to the room where they will have the rose ceremony, Zach has to admit that you could probably fit his whole apartment into this one room. Derrick seems to notice him being a bit overwhelmed as he chuckles, patting his arm lightly.

“I know how it feels, I think it’s beautiful. So listen, tonight the girls will all arrive one by one in different cars. 25 altogether.”

“25.” Zach repeats. Derrick nods.

“They will see you and talk to you for just a few minutes, and then you have to decide on which ones you want to keep. You will have 13 roses, so there are a lot of girls that has to go. I would see which ones names you remember, and then go with them. Or looks, ask me about the names later in that case.”

Derrick chuckles, sounding so very _pleased_ and Zach feels a bit of mix of disgust and also happiness because really, it isn’t every day there will be 25 girls all over you, desperate for your attention. He nods in Derrick’s direction, then looks as someone from production helps carry his bags into his room.

And wow, his _room_. A big double bed, huge window with a view to the beautiful garden, he’s got a bathroom twice the size of the one at home and there’s a bathtub _and_ a shower. He’s got a closet for his clothes, and also a bookshelf with different books he doesn’t know, and there’s a comfy chair. He wonders if he will sit much on that one, and then he sits down on the bed. It’s very soft, he almost sinks into it and wonder is he will ever get up.

“Freshen up a bit, change clothes if you want, for the night we want you in a suit.” Derrick tells him while he is looking through his papers. “You have a few hours though to just look around, I think Cody is chilling outside in the sun, he likes to work on his tan between takes. We’ll do the first video clip with you in an hour or so, and then Cody will be asking you a few questions before the arrival tonight.”

It’s difficult to keep up with everything but Zach just nods, and Derrick disappears out, giving him time to take a deep breath.

He stretches out on the bed, looking up in the ceiling and he can’t keep a stupid grin off his face. Wow, he is really lucky. He can’t believe how lucky he is. He closes his eyes, just enjoying the feeling of the blankets and pillows, before he will actually get up, splash some water in his face, and get dressed in something that doesn’t smell like he’s travelled for 8 hours.

 

**

Cody is out by the pool when Zach finds him. He seems to be reading some kind of script, wearing shirt and pants that seems to be worth more than a monthly salary of a normal working citizen, and sunglasses about the same prize. He doesn’t notice Zach at first, putting Zach in an awkward situation because he isn’t sure if he is supposed to bother him. He clears his throat, coughing a little to see if Cody will look up. He does.

“Zach Rance!” He calls out, grinning a little as he pushes the sunglasses down his nose to look at Zach for real, not through glasses. “How are you man?”

Zach smiles nervously and nods.

“I’m good, thank you. This place is… great.”

Cody looks around, shrugs a little before he turns back to Zach.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ve seen better. When we made a Hawaii edition, _that_ was nice.”

“You’ve been the host for long then?” Zach asks, feeling a bit awkward but it’s not like he paid that much attention to _The Bachelor_ in the past, sure he has watched the show but he isn’t the biggest fan, he didn’t read up on all the trivia either. Cody nods.

“Fifth season for me. This is the first time they get me a sidekick though, I don’t know if I should feel offended or something but it’s nice.” He chuckles, but Zach feels a bit confused.

“Sidekick?”

“Yeah, this extra host, kind of. I’m still the host so I will be with you during rose ceremonies and interviews and all that, but for the more fun things, that’s when we bring in Frankie. Maybe you’ve heard of him, he’s some kind of Youtube star.”

Zach shakes his head.

“I don’t know much about Youtube.”

“Well you’ll meet him later anyway.” Cody nods and then he looks over at Derrick who is making his way over to them.

“Cody, Hayden wants you guys to do the pre-show interview now, the girls will start arriving in just about three hours.”

Cody sits up, nodding at Derrick and then looks at Zach.

“Ready, champ? We have to do some questions to make you look like an absolute king on TV, it will be great. I’ll have some great plans. Let’s be modest about your model career okay?”

Zach snorts. That will be easy, considering it isn’t that much of a career to begin with, he can’t really brag about anything.

“Let’s do it by the pond with the tree.” Cody tells Derrick, and then he looks over at Zach, clearly judging his clothes, before he shrugs. “Okay, those clothes will do. They look casual, normal, people will recognize it. Suit tonight though, remember.”

“Of course.” Zach nods, taking the time to feel the temperature of the water in the pool before he follows Cody and Derrick.

 

**

Zach is a nervous wreck, again and again fixing his bowtie. He picked a red one, thinking it would match the roses he will be giving out, but how he is worried he might look a bit stupid. Just to be safe, he slips a black one down his pocket in case Derrick or Cody makes him change it, and then he takes a deep breath. 30 minutes until the girls start arriving. Just 30 minutes. He can’t do this. Can he? No he can’t. Honestly he hasn’t even had that many girlfriends to begin with, why did he think he could do this, meet lots and lots of girls and supposedly date all of them? It’s just weird. He can’t do this. He should honestly leave. Maybe. What was he thinking, agreeing to being the laughing stock of America for 14 episodes?

A knock on the door interrupts him in his thoughts which is probably a good thing since all they do is freak him out. He opens the door and is more than surprised when he is met by a sight he didn’t have expected at all.

“Hello Zachary.”

The man outside has hair in a quiff going straight up, it’s blonde and pink, and he has on blue shorts that are really, really tight, along with a simple white shirt with a band logo on that Zach doesn’t know. His right hand is resting on his hip, the left one is holding clipboard and he watches Zach from head to toe, then nodding in approval.

“Good, good, aw, red bowtie that is _so_ cute, how cute are you? That’s so cute.”

“Uh.” Zach says, because that’s really all he can say, he feels as if just watching this guy is making him feel like he has been run over by a train of attitude. He man laughs, reaching his hand out for Zach to shake.

“Oh darn, where are my manners? Hello, I’m Frankie, I’m sure you’ve heard about me from Cody but I swear, no matter what he is saying about me, most of it… probably is true.” He winks, and Zach feels as if he needs to sit down. He doesn’t though, he just nods.

“Uh… hi. I’m Zach.”

“Oh, don’t think I don’t know that. You’re our bachelor, handsome. I know that. Anyway, I’m supposed to kind of follow you around and get some cute clips for our extra show and the website, so don’t be surprised if you find me in your bedroom with a camera in no time.” He blinks and Zach’s jaw just drops, he must look like an idiot because Frankie starts laughing.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. No cameras in the bedroom, unless you’re into that.” He winks and again, is Zach talking to someone or is he being hit by a train because this is just _too_ much. He nervously scratches the back of his neck. Frankie seems to notice that he is nervous, because he calms down, stepping to the side so Zach can walk out of the room.

“Just stay calm, you’ll do great. You’ve got a TV face and from what Cody has told me, you’ve got the personality as well.” He nods and Zach smiles a little, feeling more comfortable and a bit at ease with himself.

“Really?”

“Of course!” Frankie says, and they walk downstairs where Zach can see production members prepare for the night. “Just be yourself, unless they tell you differently, and enjoy yourself. This is fun, treat it like something fun. And if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask me. Like I said, I’m meant to follow you around a little so I can always help out.”

He smiles and now his smile is so warm and welcome, and Zach doesn’t even know this guy but he feels so thankful to know that he will be around. He can’t explain why, he just does. Frankie might be all over the place but at least he feels like someone that he wants to stay around, not like the rest of the production company that feels a lot like they only do this because Zach is their job. It’s like Frankie is a crazy rainstorm and Zach wants to be close to it. He is so unlike his other friends, maybe that’s why. Frankie is different but he feels real at the same time.

“Do you really think I will be okay?” He asks, the first one he asks this question except for himself and his mirror, and Frankie nods without hesitating.

“Of course you can. Come on now, bring on the girls!”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 :) hope you enjoy.

The first car that arrives is ten minutes late. Zach can tell, because it’s past the time he got from Derrick and Derrick and Hayden are both walking around looking a bit upset by it. If by upset you mean pretty much furious.  
“The drivers know we are on a tight schedule.” Derrick mutters, and maybe Zach isn’t supposed to hear this, but he does anyway. “They need to hurry up, I want this over with, it’s just so annoying when all of them are here.”  
“I’ll go yell at Caleb.” Hayden says and he looks angry, and Zach wonders how bad it must be to mess up anything if a delay of ten minutes has them this wired up. The camera men, four of them at the moment and he is not sure if there will be even more, are walking around looking very unsettled by the whole thing. They want this over with, it’s obvious. He swallows, again wondering if he really can do this, what if he can’t decide on which girls that will stay, when Frankie appears by his side again.  
“Sorry, Cody needed me for something, he soo bossy.” Frankie rolls his eyes. “Or he just likes looking at my ass in these shorts, that could be it as well.”  
Zach blushes and smiles, instantly feeling better now when Frankie is here. Frankie doesn’t look upset or stressed, he’s just there for a good time and it makes Zach calm down as well. Not everyone here is going to bite his head off if he mess something up. It almost feels as if Frankie could tell that Zach was starting to freak out, and he was there to calm him down. Weird, considering Frankie doesn’t even really know him. Zach fixes his bowtie a little as Frankie grins.  
“Are you ready, darling?” Frankie asks, putting his hand on Zach’s leg. Zach feels a bit uncomfortable in his suit, especially since Frankie is wearing shorts, which Zach wishes he could do, but he nods anyway.  
“Y-yeah I guess so, I…”  
“Listen.” Frankie interrupts him, leaning in to whisper in his ear. There’s a warm puff of breath going straight into Zach’s ear and it makes him feel oddly comfortable. He closes his eyes without even realizing it, listening to Frankie speaks. “You will be okay. Derrick and Hayden yeah, they are all tight up stick in the ass when something doesn’t go their way, but don’t let them intimidate or scare you, okay? You’re the star.” He pulls away, smiling as Zach looks at him with thankful eyes. “Now go be the star I know you can be, cowboy.”  
“Cowboy?” Zach chuckles a little. “I’m not a cowboy.”  
“Oh well, you looked like you could be good at the whole riding thing.” Frankie winks and Zach feels his cheeks heat up because what was that. He doesn’t have time to even reply though because Derrick is yelling.  
“Okay, first car is pulling up the driveway now, Zach, I want you here!”  
He is pointing to the spot next to the pond, a little bridge going over it, where he and Derrick has decided that he will stand to greet all the girls. Zach isn’t good with TV shows or even at knowing what looks good, but when Derrick picked the spot he could totally see why. There are little lights everywhere, in the trees and circling the handles of the bridge, and in the moonlight it gives you just enough light. It will look beautiful on TV, truly showing off the garden. Zach nods, and he swallows hard as he sees the first girl walk out of her car, a limo just like the one Zach had arrived in.  
“Imagine her walking in to the song 4x4 by Miley Cyrus.” Frankie whispers in his ear, and Zach has to laugh.  
“What? Why?”  
Frankie giggles, actually giggles and Zach doesn’t know why but it makes him want to giggle as well. It’s crazy. He must compose himself now when the girl arrives. She is already stepping out, she looks beautiful, long slender legs only half shown off in a deep, purple, dress. She’s got long, blonde hair braided with gold, and the makeup seems to have taken about two hours. He can tell, because she looks the way models do after they come out of two hours makeup sessions. Only problem is those models rarely give Zach more attention than needed, and these girls will all be interested in him. He feels oddly nervous. Zach swallows, a bit lost when Frankie speaks again.  
“Oh believe me, this gets way, way more fun if you imagine them walking to you to different soundtracks. You’re gonna do this 25 times man, you’re gonna get bored.”  
“Bored of beautiful girls?” Zach snorts, the feeling of Frankie making him blush and feel weird long gone. “I don’t think so.”  
Frankie has turned around so he doesn’t see if he reacts in any way.   
Zach loses track by the fifth girl. They are all hair and very beautiful dresses, flashing smile after smile at him, hugging him tightly and he can feel the smell of their perfume. A few name sticks though, Victoria who looks gorgeous while still being fun, Nicole who has a voice he can’t decide if he likes or is annoyed by, Christine who probably isn’t what production thinks he will pick because she’s got tattoos everywhere. There’s also Paola, Amber and Jocasta, and some girl named Brittany, all girls Zach doesn’t really know why, but he remembers them. He makes a mental note to himself to remember them even for the rose ceremony, because he does not want to end up calling the wrong name.   
“That’s all of them.” Frankie calls out as the last girl, named Marjorie or Margaret or something disappears into the house where the rest of them are waiting, just mingling as they wait for the verdict from Zach on which girls who gets to stay and move into the house. “Feeling good?”  
Zach nods. It does feel good. Really good. Derrick was right, the girls are extremely pretty.  
“What happens now?” He asks, and he probably should know because Derrick went over this with him multiple times before, but he has forgotten. Frankie doesn’t seem to mind though, he smiles at Zach and it’s warm and soft.  
“Give the girls some time to mingle. Form friendships and gossip about other girls’ clothes and stuff, it’s great for TV.” He tells him, while looking over at the house. “Then we will prepare the rose ceremony, so you can go inside and talk to them again if you want to make up your mind. And then we will get some video of them crying and then they leave, and you can go to your room until tomorrow when the first date will be.”  
Zach swallows.  
“Do they… often cry? Like for real?”  
Frankie nods and sits down next to Zach.   
“Oh, god yes. A lot. Mostly because it is emotional and because they don’t really eat a lot this day, nerves I guess. It’s a disaster.”  
“I don’t want to make girls cry.”  
Frankie laughs and pats Zach’s shoulder.  
“You’re on the wrong show then mate.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “Don’t worry, it will be great. You’ll plan lots of fun things. It will be a great experience and maybe you’ll even find love. Found anyone you like so far?”  
Zach tells him about the girls he remembers while Frankie nods, listening and giving him his full attention until Cody interrupts.   
“Time for the ceremony. Ready, Zach?”

**  
It’s horrible. Absolutely horrible. The girls look close to tears as soon as Zach stands next to the roses, starting to slowly hand them out. He gives one to Victoria first, which makes her giggle excitedly as she makes her way over to him, kissing his cheek before accepting the rose, taking her place where the girls who are chosen are supposed to wait to see which of the girls who doesn’t get chosen. Frankie is there, whispering with them and Zach can’t hear what they are saying, but it looks as if Frankie is saying lots of fun things when they wait.   
“Your last rose.” Cody says, looking as Zach takes the last rose from the table, looking at the girls who are left. “Who will it be?”  
The girls all look teary eyed as they meet Zach’s gaze, and he swallows, really hoping that they can’t tell that his hands are shaking. This is difficult enough just as it is, it gets even worse considering he has cameras catching every angle of his probably sweat covered forehead. He takes a deep breath.  
“Nicole.”  
The moment the name has slipped past his lips, he can hear the reactions of everyone in the room. Five girls who didn’t get picked start crying, completely breaking down which is weird, because Zach can’t believe how they can be so eager to get chosen by him. He wonders if it’s about him, or about the fact to be on TV, or just be better than everyone else. Nicole has tears in her eyes as well, but they seem to be a mix of happiness and relief as she hugs Zach tightly, whispering “Thank you thank you thank you!” in his ear before she walks to join the rest of the girls, Victoria and Christine hugging her tightly as she does.   
Cody, who has been quiet for a while now since giving Zach the last rose, clears his throat.  
“Well girls, that was our last rose. If you didn’t get a rose than sadly, your journey ends here. Please take a moment to say goodbye to the others, and your cars will take you back.”  
The girls hug each other, some still crying and some looking absolutely furious. Some make their way up to Zach, saying goodbye and that it’s sad he didn’t pick them, and Zach nods, unsure on what to say.  
It feels like forever until the camera crew says cut, and Derrick and Frankie shows up next to him.  
“And that’s that, great job Zach, your jaw looks great on camera.” Frankie blinks and Zach feels a blush spread across his cheeks. Derrick nods.  
“I agree, well that’s that, tomorrow will be the first group date but for now you can really just chill, either with the girls or in your room, it’s up to you really, we’ve got enough material for a first episode. Devin, hold on!” Derrick calls out for one of the camera men, who stop as he hears him. “Please get some more tears, and that angry girl can do a video diary before the car takes her away, okay?”  
Zach hesitates, feeling that maybe he should pay the girls some attention, because they will be basically living together and he is after all supposed to date them, but they are all so very pretty and he feels shy and uncomfortable. He grabs a glass of champagne, gripping it tightly as he thinks about saying something to them, when Frankie appears again.   
“You wanna do a video for my Youtube channel?”  
“Wh-what?” Zach laughs foolishly, not really sure what he is talking about. Frankie smiles at him.  
“I make vlogs, and my channel is linked to the Bachelor site at the moment, so whenever I have time I plan to upload little videos, something extra for the fans active on the web. Come on, it would be great to see you in a video, especially right now after the rose ceremony. Can we please?”  
Zach smiles a little, and even though he should go hang out with the girls cause wow, 13 beautiful girls all waiting for his attention, but for some reason it feels like he will have more fun doing this video with Frankie.  
“Do I have to make a fool out of myself or do something dangerous?”  
Frankie laughs, wrapping a hand around his shoulders.   
“No silly, what do you think this is, Jackass? No, I just need you to talk a little about the girls and I don’t know, if you want to change clothes while I film it’s totally okay.”  
He winks and he is obviously joking, but Zach blushes a little anyway, glancing over at the girls who are now looking over at him, waiting for him to say something.  
“Uhm… should I…”  
“Just tell them goodnight.” Frankie says, already starting to walk upstairs. “I’ll wait for you and hey, bring a bottle of champagne please, don’t tell Derrick!”  
Zach shakes his head, Frankie is just… he can’t even explain it. He thinks he has to say something to the girls though, so he makes his way over.  
“Well…” He says, only that word is enough to give him attention. “Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning.”  
“Goodnight Zach!” They all say almost at once, except for Victoria who is drinking from her glass of champagne. Zach nods, and then he looks over at the table with the champagne, grabbing a bottle before he walks upstairs, following Frankie. 

**  
“I was only 22 when I started my channel.” Frankie explains, he is spread out on Zach’s bed while Zach is sitting in the chair next to the bed, the bottle of champagne almost empty by now. “First I just posted videos about my days, but people liked it so much. When I got a million subscribers, I started to get recognized by TV.”  
“That’s very cool.” Zach says, and he means it, he isn’t being sarcastic or anything. Listening to Frankie talk, his life just seems cool and fun and easygoing, and he thinks back of his own life with studying and then model shoots, that doesn’t really lead anywhere and god, cucumber water and he is just so jealous.   
“Don’t be sarcastic with me.” Frankie chuckles and Zach has to laugh, could he read his mind or something, but he isn’t being sarcastic, more jealous.  
“I’m jealous.” He admits. “It sounds like lot of fun.”  
“Well you’ll have a lot of fun too stud, with all these girls drooling all over you.” Frankie winks and sits up, drinking the last of the champagne before putting the bottle in the bin. Zach laughs, leaning back a little.  
“Yeah, I’m very lucky aren’t I?”  
“Really.” Frankie agrees and he then yawns a little, nerves and alcohol and stress suddenly getting to him. Frankie gets up from the bed, patting Zach’s shoulder, hand resting there a bit longer than it probably had to. “Come on now, time for bed. Tomorrow you’ll go through the first group date and it’s always interesting, they will be all over you and there’s always good food. Want me to wake you up for breakfast?”  
Zach nods slowly, just agreeing with everything Frankie says is something that is already starting to be a habit, and he doesn’t know why.   
“If it’s not too much trouble…”  
Frankie shakes his head.  
“Nope, you’re my job, remember.” He winks. “I’m all yours, and we’re supposed to spend lot of time together. Now come on, try to get some sleep and don’t like, wank all night to those girls.”  
He laughs and Zach joins in, but something feels weird just by the thought of that which is… weird. Not weird that it would be creepy, just weird that the thought of thinking of any of those girls is… He pushes the thoughts away, how stupid is he? This is heaven, and tomorrow will be even better.  
“I will try not to.” He says instead, and then Frankie leans in and kisses his cheek.  
“Okay, sweet dreams handsome, see you tomorrow with all your future fiancées!”

Zach doesn’t feel asleep right away, like he thought he would because he spend a good hour just trying to realize where he actually is, that he has all these girls and they all want him. No one else, just him. He smiles a little, just thinking about how Drew would react if he was here and saw him now, but he isn’t, but he can imagine him. Drew would high five him, give him tips on how to get all of the girls and he probably would try to go for one or two himself. Zach really is lucky, he is. He closes his eyes, thinking about what will happen tomorrow and which one of the girls who will be the one to receive the last rose, and he is dozing off, too far gone in his sleep too remember that when he finally does fall asleep, the last thing on his mind isn’t any of the girls, but a giggling boy in shorts.


	3. Chapter 3

Zach almost forgets where he is when he wakes up. The bed he is in is too soft and too big to be his own, and he is momentarily confused as he blinks, trying to see something in the sudden light.

“Good morning.” Frankie chippers, apparently he has let himself into Zach’s room and is now pulling the curtains away from the window, looking like a proper character from a Disney movie when he swirls around to meet Zach’s eyes.

“Good night.” Zach grunts, hiding his face against the pillow again. He is not a morning person, no matter how exciting today will be. He always wants ten minutes more of sleep. Doesn’t matter if he has been asleep for three days, he still wants ten more minutes of sleep. Just ten more minutes.

Frankie doesn’t seem to accept that though, because before Zach knows it, Frankie has jumped on him in bed, trying to tickle him through the covers he is hiding under.

“Come on Zachary.” Frankie giggles as Zach squirms, trying to get away from Frankie’s tickling fingers while he is laughing so much it hurts his cheeks. “Time for breakfast, time for dates, time for girls, aren’t you excited?”

“Of course I am.” Zach chuckles and then he throws a pillow at Frankie who catches it with a little squeal. “Now please let me shower and get changed.”

“I’m not invited then?” Frankie pouts, and then he laughs as Zach just shakes his head. “Fine, I’ll wait downstairs, where breakfast is served for his highness.”

Zach shakes his head again as he leaves the room, wondering why they already have this kind of relationship he is so unfamiliar with, friendships like these just doesn’t _exist_ back home. And if they did, he sure has hell has never had one of these before. Drew would never ever in a million years come up with the idea to joke about joining Zach in the shower, and they have known each other practically half of Zach’s life. Yet here he is, comfortable to let someone joke around like this with him, even though he has only known the guys for a little more than a day.

He is a bit confused but mostly happy as he step into the shower, getting ready for a day with the girls.

 

**

Cody appears after breakfast, wearing shades and tight, black jeans along with an oversized white shirt, looking hung over and tired as he greets Zach. It doesn’t last long though, because when makeup arrives and Derrick starts telling them what to film, Cody turns into the same, charming, good looking host he was yesterday - the grumpy, tired one long gone.

“Hey there, Zach.” He says, cameras rolling and Zach isn’t sure if they will actually use this for the show, he kind of hopes not because he is completely unprepared. “Ready for today’s group date, or are you still trying to get over last night, sending so many beautiful girls home?”

“I’m confident with my choice.” Zach hears himself say, pleased when Frankie is doing a thumbs up behind Cody’s back.

“Good.” Cody smiles, and puts his hand on Zach’s arm. “Get ready to meet your girls Zach, because you’re going on a very special group date today…”

“Are you going to tell me what it is?” Zach asks, laughing a little in a way he hopes is charming and makes it seem as if he is on top of things. Cody grins, putting a hand on Zach’s arm before he replies.

“You know Zach, I think you will love it. Come on, let’s meet the girls and see how they will like this first group date.”

 

The girls are dressed casually today, as is Zach and it feels so much better than the whole formal wear they had on yesterday. The 13 of them all want his attention, but it’s Nicole he ends up walking with as they are lead to the place where the first group date will be, everyone going horseback riding to the woods. Zach has never been on a horse in his life, except for maybe one time when he was younger, and he isn’t at all that happy about it. Frankie on the other hand giggled like crazy when Cody told Zach, saying things like ‘Get why I called you cowboy, now?’ but Zach doesn’t find it funny at all.

Frankie also stays away from him most of the walks to the stables, apparently wanting to give him time with the girls which Zach is very thankful for, because talking to them makes it feel a bit more real and as if this isn’t just a TV show, that maybe he actually _could_ find someone to date. Nicole isn’t at all that bad, she laughs at his jokes and she is very pretty, Zach wouldn’t mind dating her at all. They are just really getting into conversation when production tells him to talk to some other girls, giving Nicole something to discuss with another girl to give him time to talk to Christine instead.

When they finally arrive at the stables, Zach is a bit nervous. The horses are big and even though the people working with the horses makes sure that they are great animals that wouldn’t hurt a fly, Zach is still nervous because hey, _they are big_. He hopes no one can tell though that it makes him nervous, because if this continues, The Bachelor will basically be a video montage of him being nervous about everything. Not really what he had planned for it to be when he joined.

“I just love horses, don’t you?” One girl, named Jocasta if Zach’s memory doesn’t betray him which feels awkward because he should remember the names of the girls he picked. He nods, thinking it would probably look bad on TV if he acts as if he is scared.

“Girls, this will also be a completion.” Cody announces, after they are all getting a horse and told how to get up on it. “Not on the horseback…” He adds, as some of the girls look rather scared. “But later a competition will be held to decide which one of you that will win a one on one dinner date with your bachelor.”

The girls sighs happily as Cody starts explaining what the competition will be about and what the date will be. He is probably talking something about dinner and there might be mentions of candles and food but Zach stops listening because he notices Frankie preparing something for a video, jumping around and then petting a little pony, which has him momentarily losing interest in anything else, and he doesn’t know why.

 

**

By lunch time the girls seemed to be a bit tired of fighting for attention from Zach, especially since the cameras are now off. When Zach sneaks off on his own, finding a spot next to a lake close to the where they are staying, no one really comments on it. Bringing a bottle of water, his salad and some bread, it feels almost as if he is having a little picnic by himself and he is surprised with how nice it feels. He yawns as he looks out over the lake, a slight breeze causing the water just slightly to be disturbed in its peaceful surface. Who knew socializing could be this exhausting?

“Mind if I join?”

Zach could almost hear it on the steps that it was Frankie, and the voice makes him smile. He looks up, finding Frankie leaning over him so that he can look at him, making Zach see him almost upside down. Zach grins a little.

“I don’t know. Are you cool enough to sit with me?”

Frankie shakes his head, laughing as he sits down next to Zach.

“Wow, couple of days on _The Bachelor_ and you already think you’re king. Impressive, really.”

“King Rance.” Zach laughs a little, drinking his bottle of water. Frankie chuckles.

“So the girls will do the competition later. Who are you rooting for to win?” Frankie winks and Zach bites his lip. He doesn’t really know. The girls are all nice.

“I don’t know.” He says slowly and watches Frankie as if he thinks Frankie will have an idea. “Victoria is very pretty. And Amber. Nicole was nice, Christine is fun I mean they are all great in their own way so… it doesn’t really matter I guess?”

“Good.” Frankie smiles. “When you start liking them more, it will be annoying when the girl you don’t want wins the competition, if you haven’t been through a rose ceremony and getting rid of them yet.”

He chuckles a little, but Zach finds it kind of difficult to imagine, that he would be displeased with anyone of them.

“Can I have some of your salad?” Frankie asks, and Zach stops thinking about the girls, laughing instead at Frankie giving him puppy dog eyes.

“Trying to steal my food?”

“Obviously.”

Zach feeds him salad until Cody shows up, telling them it’s time to watch the competition.

 

**

Nicole wins, causing the other girls to get really angry because she already got a lot of time with Zach during the group date. Zach doesn’t mind, ignores the glares and evil stares, and Nicole really doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. The date they go on is a romantic one on one dinner at a fine dining restaurant downtown, and the whole crew along with Derrick follows them along to film everything they do.

Cameras are already not really bothering Zach anymore though, crazy how quickly that happened. Him and Nicole enjoy a three course meal, while Nicole tells him everything he should know about her, and they even find out they share some interests.

“Frankie is so much fun.” Nicole says after dessert, when they are mostly talking about the show off camera, because the crew is taking a break and won’t film again until they are taking the limo home. “Don’t you think so?”

Zach finds himself blushing a little for no reason at all, he hides behind a napkin before he nods.

“Yeah he is, he really makes me laugh.”

“Yeah, and where did you two disappear off to during lunch today?”

Zach starts coughing, because he hadn’t at all realized it had looked as if they had disappeared.

“Uhm… wow, did you see that this dessert costs a small fortune if we had paid for it ourselves?” He says, desperate to talk about something else. Nicole doesn’t seem to mind though, she happily plays along and Zach can breathe out. He kind of wants the night to end now.

 

**

When it’s time for the next rose ceremony, Zach spends over an hour trying to decide which girl he should send home. He also spends lots of time getting dressed, getting help from Frankie and he wonders if he will get used to all this soon. Fancy clothes, girls desperate for his attention and also the fact that he can ruin someone’s dream. He feels a bit nervous when he makes his way downstairs, seeing the girls running around in their pretty dresses, trying to borrow makeup from each other and they look just as nervous as he is. Derrick shows up just as Zach is down the stairs, big smile on his face.

“My star, ready to break some hearts?”

Zach forces a smile. He really doesn’t like breaking hearts. If Derrick can tell he is uncomfortable about that, he doesn’t show it, because he keeps talking about how everything will work.

“There you have the 12 roses, the girl who isn’t given a rose will get a short amount of time to say goodbye before we cut.” Derrick tells Zach in passing, while Zach is fixing his bowtie, a purple one that Frankie picked, saying it will look great for the ceremony. “Basically it’s just the same as last time, only there will just be one girl who isn’t picked this time, it always gets a bit awkward.” Derrick chuckles, then he turns to Hayden to discuss some angles in the cameras. Zach swallows a little. No, he probably really isn’t very good at this. Hopefully it gets easier.

“Do you know who you will send home?” Frankie asks as he shows up, and Zach nods slowly.

“Yeah… Yeah I think so.”

“Good, it’s always good when you know.” Frankie nods. “You’ll do great and aw babe, you look so cute!”

Zach blushes a little, shaking his head and then Frankie seems to want to say something else but there’s no time, girls are showing up and standing in the stairs where they stay until they get a rose, and Zach is being pulled away by Hayden.

“Try not to take too long, okay, but listen to Cody and make sure you check what he wants you to do.” Hayden tells him as he makes sure Zach is in the right place. Zach smiles at the girls, they don’t really smile back except for Nicole, and she is probably smiling because she is pretty sure she will receive a rose.

“Okay.” Zach nods. Hayden smiles.

“Great, Zach. Okay guys, cameras rolling in 3, 2, 1…”

“12 roses.” Cody says, turning to Zach and his serious, television host face is on, and his voice is deep and serious. “Tell me Zach, how has this first week been?”

“Uh…” Zach says, then remembering that they shoot the show to make it look like there is one week between each rose ceremony, even though it isn’t. “It’s been good.” He decides to say then, hoping he sounds confident. “I’ve had a lot of fun with the girls, they are all great people. It sucks I only have 12 roses.”

Cody nods a little, then he turns to the girls.

“Girls, if your name is called, you will get a rose and you can stay another week. If your name is not called, you sadly have to leave us. Zach… it’s your choice.” Cody nods again, pointing to the table where the roses are. “When you are ready, Zach…”

Zach takes a deep breath before he starts. He gives his first rose to Victoria, she looks surprised, as does Jocasta, Amber and Paola. He waits a little with Nicole’s rose but he calls her name, she gives him a kiss on the cheek before she joins the other girls. When there are only two girls left, Cody pauses Zach a little, making him wait.

“Okay Zach, so the girls we have left are Christine and Brooke. Who will it be that gets your last rose of the night?”

Zach looks at Christine and Brooke, both have tears in their eyes and he takes a deep breath.

“Christine.”

Christine runs forward with happiness, hugging Zach tightly as she accepts the rose and then rushes over to the other girls. Brooke on the other hand, the only one standing in the stairs now, looks furious.

“Well that was…” Cody starts but he is interrupted.

“Fuck you Rance!” Brooke suddenly screams. “I’m better than those bitches, don’t you know? Fuck you, playing favorites and not giving us a real chance. You’re pathetic. All you guys are!”

Zach is very taken aback, especially when she spits on the floor.

“Now, now, feelings are difficult…” Cody starts and then he says something else, but Brooke is basically yelling at everyone now and cameras rush to capture every moment. Zach doesn’t know what to do, Brooke is screaming and it’s words about him, about the other girls and it’s just all over the place. Zach feels as if he might be sick and then he feels Frankie’s hand on his arm.

“Hey, come here, let them be upset.”

He signals to Derrick that he is taking Zach away, Derrick only giving him a thumbs up because clearly, this drama is something they want on the episode. Zach swallows.

“Don’t I need to finish…”

“You gave your roses, if they need anything else they can do it tomorrow, come on.” Frankie pushes him forward, towards Zach’s room and Zach feels his body trembling and he doesn’t know why. It isn’t until they are inside the room, suddenly quiet everywhere, when he realizes he is shaking.

“Fuck.” He whispers, and Frankie pulls him closer in a tight embrace.

“She just wanted drama. Some undeserved time in the spotlight, don’t worry.”

“Maybe but…” Zach sits down on the bed, hiding his face in his hands. Frankie pats his shoulder.

“Get some sleep, okay? You will feel better in the morning, I promise. And I promise, it’s not as bad as it looked. It was just drama. It is a television show after all, it attracts a certain kind of people. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“Do you… do you think you could stay?” Zach whispers, not really sure why because never, ever in his life has he asked a man to stay the night with him like this. _Especially_ not a man who is clearly into other men. It’s not that Zach is brought up in a place where other things than heterosexuality doesn’t exist, but it isn’t something he is very used to. He swallows, hoping that Frankie won’t think he is a complete idiot but it really got to him, in a way he didn’t think it would, just seeing Brooke that upset and also hearing her words that she thinks he plays favorites. He just doesn’t want to be alone, he doesn’t know why but it’s like he needs to be reminded that not everyone hates him.

“Of course.” Frankie doesn’t even think about it, before Zach even has time to turn around, Frankie has crawled down next in bed to him, on his side so that he can watch Zach. Zach turns so that he is facing Frankie, taking deep breaths and tries to calm down.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles, feeling more pathetic than ever before. “I probably shouldn’t…”

“Hey.” Frankie rubs his arms slowly, and it calms Zach down, especially when his hand then move over to Zach’s back, fingers running over his spine. “It’s okay, you’re a good guy Zach, I know you don’t want people to be upset.”

“Yeah.” Zach mumbles, taking a shaky breath. “It just…”

Frankie leans forward, kissing his forehead softly.

“You will see that everything is okay in the morning. Now get some sleep, okay? I promise I’ll stay.”

Zach nods, thinking that he probably won’t be able to fall asleep, that it’s too much going on in his head, but as Frankie keeps rubbing his back softly, he finds himself slowly drifting off to sleep.

 

**

“Hey Grande, can you let go of your boy for two minutes so I can go over some things?” Derrick jokes at the breakfast table, causing Frankie to giggle and Zach to blush hard.

“Wh… what do you mean?” Zach tries to act like it’s nothing, making a fool out of himself because why is he blushing when everyone else just laughs at Derrick’s joke. Derrick shakes his head.

“Just messing with you man. We’ll keep up with some dates today, and it’s getting to the point where you should maybe start thinking about kissing one or two of the girls. It will keep ratings up.”

“Kissing?” Zach says and Frankie giggles.

“You know Zach, lips against lips, maybe I can show you…”

Derrick laughs hard but just the thought of it has Zach’s heart beating faster from nerves.

“Stop that Frankie, it would be very awkward if you two end up sleeping together instead of Zach and the girls.”

Frankie smirks a little, clearly thinking that he did spend the night in Zach’s bed. Zach clears his throat.

“Oh no, I’m straight.”

Because he is. Very straight.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s surprising how easy it all becomes a routine. Zach spends his day hanging out with the girls, they do lots of dates, activities, the girls fight, cry, and then there is time for the rose ceremonies. Even though Zach feels as if he is getting used to it, it’s still difficult to upset someone, and whenever he has to go through it, Frankie is there. Frankie jokes with him, makes him laugh, and if Zach asks, he stays the night in Zach’s bed.

He’s not getting as close to the girls as he is to Frankie though. The girls are nice, lovely and they are more gorgeous than most girls Zach has ever dated in his life, but there’s just something missing and he can’t really understand why that is. It just is. It will probably happen soon enough.

“Zach, can I see you for a minute?” Derrick asks one morning, just as Zach is getting ready to get back to his room. Zach feels nervous for no reason.

“Uh… sure. What’s up?”

“Listen, I don’t want to push you into anything, but there’s 7 girls left now and so far, the only thing we have seen from you is some dates we have sent you on, and there’s not even as much as handholding during these dates. Now, as I said, I don’t want to push you into anything, but the girls are getting restless, as viewers will be because they need more.”

Zach blushes, he really has no idea how to respond, because how does he respond to this.

“Uh…”

“Your audition tape showed me quite the player.” Derrick continues. “I mean you talked about all girls you’ve been with, how much you enjoy casual flirting and that’s what this show needs, to be honest if you could make out with all the girls that would be the best thing but so far, we haven’t seen anything. Is there anything I should know?”

Zach shakes his head quickly.

“No, no I’m sorry I guess I’ve… just been nervous you know. Don’t want to make any bad decisions.”

Derrick pats his shoulder.

“Zach, this whole thing is a TV-show, we can edit out things it if turns shit. Just give me something to work with, okay? You have that date that Christine won today, why not work with that to get some drama. And if you don’t want anything to happen with Christine, I can see if Nicole could be up for something because we have scripts for these things.”

“Scripts…” Zach looks and feels very confused, but Derrick doesn’t seem to want to explain, at least not now.

“We will get the ball running.” He says, and then he pats Zach’s shoulder again. “Go enjoy yourself man, this is paradise, just chill and have fun. Don’t overthink stuff, it’s not important.”

Zach nods, he isn’t really sure what he is agreeing to, but it seems to please Derrick anyway because he walks back to Hayden after that.

 

 

**

The date with Christine is very simple, it’s a walk in the woods leading to a meadow, where both of them have a picnic, a basket with food and light alcoholic beverages that Zach packed. He tells Christine he did anyway, because that’s what production told him to, but really it isn’t he that packed it, it was Devin, the only thing Zach did was carry the basket, with Christine clinging to his other arm, listening to every word he says.

“This is beautiful!” Christine exclaims as they reach the picnic site, Zach smiles a little.

“I think so too. Do you want to sit down?”

They sit down on a blanket, Zach pouring cider into two glasses and giving Christine one of them. He sips the cider, it doesn’t taste bad, it’s more than okay. They small talk while eating the selection of bread, cheese and fruits, and Zach feels that this isn’t bad. He hope that Derrick will be pleased with this.

They are halfway through the chocolate box when Christine clears her throat.

“So…”

“So?” Zach asks, giving her a smile.

“Can you tell me what you feel?” Christine asks him, leaning closer with a seductive look on her face and Zach swallows.

“Uhm…”

“Like about us.” Christine whispers, her hand now on Zach’s arm. “Can’t you see us be very happy in the future?”

Zach swallows, realizing that maybe even if he doesn’t think it’s horrible in any way to hang out with Christine, the thought of them getting married and spending the rest of their lives together just seems so very weird. He just doesn’t know how to say that without sounding like a douche, and he doesn’t want to be a douche. He feels enough like a douche when he sends the girls home, and he isn’t even planning on sending Christine home yet, so it would be really bad to get her to be mad at him or something. He nods slowly.

“You know, I don’t like focusing on the future, or the past. We should focus on the present. Because hey, that’s what’s important right? Here and now.” He fires off a big smile and Christine sighs happily, apparently it was romantic and Derrick gives Zach a thumbs up, this will probably look great in the episode. Zach wish they would stop filming though, because when they do the girls aren’t always all over him.

 _Why are you on The Bachelor if you don’t want girls to be all over you?_ A small voice in the back of his head speaks up, but Zach tries to push that little voice away. Because he doesn’t need to question himself. Not at all.

“Good, cut.” Derrick says to the cameras, and Zach is more than relieved. When they start walking back, Derrick walks up to Zach.

“Listen that was good, but I still feel like you’re holding back, okay? I want you to have a kiss with Nicole and I have just the right idea, I’ll send the script to your room and you can go over it, and we’ll shoot it tomorrow. Is that okay?”

Zach doubts Derrick would take no for an answer, so he just nods, hoping that no one can see how nervous just the thought of this is making him.

 

**

“Come on, you will be fine.” Frankie smiles, just finishing his video that he wanted to do for tonight and walking over to Zach. Zach looks up with dark eyes.

“They basically want me to read a script to get the first romantic kiss okay. How is that even supposed to look normal? Natural? I can’t do this Frankie, I’m not an actor!”

Zach knew that there probably would be things like this on _The Bachelor_ , but he didn’t know it would be _this_ difficult. Frankie sighs and sits down next to him.

“Derrick is only doing this because you haven’t kissed any of the girls yet. They do this when… they need some action. You know. If you don’t want to do the script then maybe you should just, you know, get with the girls by yourself. Cuddle a little and kiss them and stuff, things that will get good ratings.”

Zach blushes a little because he should. He should have done all that but he just hasn’t felt like… it’s right. He isn’t going to say that to Frankie though, Frankie doesn’t need to know that.

“Can you help me?” He asks instead, looking at Frankie with eyes that he knows can only be described as puppy dog eyes, and Frankie laughs and shakes his head.

“The things I will do for you. Okay, okay, I’m gonna play Nicole.”

He makes himself comfortable on the bed, looking at Zach and batting his eyelashes, imitating the sound of Nicole’s voice as he speaks.

“Oh, Zach, you are so handsome and caring. Will you please give me some sugar, honey?”

He smacks his lips, doing a pouty kiss face. Zach laughs, tossing him the script.

“Read from the script, dumbass.”

“Zach!” Frankie gasps in horror, still using Nicole’s voice. It’s scary accurate. “How dare you call your wife to be a _dumbass_?”

Zach laughs, shaking his head and then he starts reading lines from the script, Frankie replying with Nicole’s lines perfectly, he is way better at being Nicole than Zach is at being himself, which is really sad.

“Have I… told you… how beautiful you are?” Zach reads from the script, nervously looking up at Frankie who doesn’t look affected at all, he is completely in character of being Nicole. He is leaning in a little.

“No, you haven’t.” Frankie blinks, running his fingers through his hair. “Now how beautiful am I?”

“You are… very beautiful. Everything about you is just… very beautiful.” Zach mumbles, and he doesn’t know how long Frankie wants to take this, because soon in the script is the kiss and he is just not going for that, he is not.

“You should show me just how beautiful you think I am.” Frankie says, and then before Zach understands what is going on, Frankie puts his hand under Zach’s cheek, cupping his face lightly and leans in, and Zach feels his heart absolutely beat faster than it has ever before, he takes a deep, nervous breath as Frankie leans in, their lips coming closer and closer together and…

“Wow, that was good!” Frankie laughs and he pulls away from Zach. Zach swallows, his breathing still nervous, his heart still beating fast and his cheeks are flushed. “You will do fine Zach, don’t worry about this. When did Derrick say they will do this? Tomorrow? You will do fine, don’t worry at all, it will be great, you will see.”

He gives Zach a smile before he jumps out of bed.

“Now, I have to go over some things with Cody but I’ll, see you at dinner, okay?” Frankie smiles, and then he is out the door and Zach is left on the bed, only having time to wonder what the fuck is going on with him before he groans and hides his face in his hands.

 

**

 

“Frankie? Are you awake?” Zach whispers. It’s past midnight, he really should be sleeping but he can’t sleep and he pokes Frankie’s side. Frankie grunts.

“I am now. Why are you awake?”

“Can’t sleep.” Zach confesses and moves closer to Frankie. He doesn’t know why, it just feels like he should do that. “I want to go to the lake.”

“The lake?” Frankie laughs and then he puts a pillow over his head. “No. goodnight Zach, see you in the morning.”

“Frankie!” Zach tries to pull the pillow away from Frankie’s face. “Please, please, please, I really can’t sleep.”

Frankie looks up at him. Zach gives him a big smile to try to convince him. Frankie sighs.

“I don’t know… I don’t think it’s a very good idea Zach, it’s the middle of the night and we’re not supposed to…”

“Frankie, please.” Zach whines and Frankie sighs again, and Zach feels very pleased because he knew Frankie would agree, it didn’t even take him _that_ long to get him to agree.

“You’re gonna get me in so much trouble.” Frankie warns. “I might get kicked out. Lose my job. People won’t look at me again, I…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Zach waves it off. “You’re sacrificing so much for me blah, blah. Come on now, I wanna see the lake in the moonlight.”

Frankie groans, but he gets out of bed, reaching for his clothes as Zach does the same, both of them getting dressed while being as quiet as possible. They then sneak out, trying to be as quiet as they can while walking downstairs, even though it’s almost bound to happen that they will wake someone up considering this house is filled with sleeping people. Surprising enough though, they make it to the door and outside into the garden, and they aren’t caught by anyone. Zach almost feels like a teenager sneaking out while being grounded to see his girlfriend, only he is with Frankie and… oh well.

“You know you can ask production to let you take one of the girls to the lake, right?” Frankie asks and Zach doesn’t even have to look at him to see that little smirk. It’s obvious that Frankie knows that Zach really wouldn’t want to take anyone of the girls there, he wants to go with Frankie, because right now it’s the middle of the night, he feels giddily and he can’t wait to do something that isn’t according to a plan. The whole day has been according to plan, from breakfast with Victoria to the ‘secret’, scripted, kiss with Nicole that had five cameras surrounding them and Derrick giving instructions.

Right now he just want to do something that is him. Him and Frankie.

“But I’m asking you, right?” He says instead, and then there’s a weird feeling in his stomach as Frankie smiles at him. Zach swallows, suddenly feeling a bit nervous, but he is soon back to feeling on top of things. He doesn’t want to be so awkward.

“Indeed you are.” Frankie smirks, but if he has noticed Zach’s blush or the way Zach accidently keeps bumping into him as they walk, he doesn’t comment on it.

When they make it to the lake, it’s calm and quiet, there’s just the sound of wind through the trees and the only source of light they have, except for when Frankie checks his phone for new tweets, is the big full moon – it’s reflecting in the lake and Zach has to smile, he really feels like he is in a movie.

“Okay, we got here, can we go home now?” Frankie asks, tickling Zach’s side gently. “I never would have pinned you for a full moon guy.”

Zach laughs shaking his head.

“Come on, we can stay for a bit, it’s nice. It’s calm and… nice.”

“Isn’t it nice just because you’re with me?” Frankie smirks and suddenly he is moving closer to Zach, and Zach finds himself swallowing. The tension can be felt around them, it goes from nothing to 100 in two seconds, and Zach watches Frankie looking at him, he tries to read what’s on his mind but it’s almost impossible.

“I…”

“Zach.” Frankie interrupts him, wrapping an arm around his waist. “Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m getting signals from you and… it feels as if you maybe…”

“I’m straight.” Zach whispers quickly. “I am.”

Frankie smiles. More of a grin. Something. Zach can’t really decide. It makes him nervous though, but it also makes him feel things he didn’t think he could feel. Especially not when Frankie leans in, almost as during the time they read the script and Zach inhales sharply, trying to remember what oxygen is and why he needs it.

“Are you really?” Frankie mumbles. “Because when cameras are off, the girls are away, and Derrick isn’t looking… I feel like… I know what you feel, Zach.”

Zach closes his eyes. He doesn’t know what to say, and he feels his arms almost like magnets moving to wrap around Frankie, pulling him closer.

“And what is that?” He whispers, hoping his voice won’t break. Frankie is close to him now, he can’t see it because Zach keeps his eyes closed, but he can feel Frankie’s warm breath against his lips, he can feel Frankie’s body pressing against him, he can feel everything that is Frankie and nothing else.

“You want me to do this.” Frankie mumbles, and then he is cupping Zach’s face again and Zach whimpers as Frankie presses his lips against his, tenderly kissing him. Slow. Intimate. Carefully, as if he is afraid Zach will break like a porcelain doll. Zach feels like his body is on fire and it’s absolutely pathetic because it’s just a kiss, not even tongue, just lips pressing together, Frankie carefully letting Zach feel his soft lips, and still it has Zach going crazy. He is so happy that Frankie is holding him, that he is holding Frankie because if they didn’t, it’s most likely that he would have fallen to the ground right now because he doubt his legs are working like they are supposed to.

“Was I right?” Frankie mumbles against Zach’s lips, Zach doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know what to do, he feels so lost it’s not even fair, and still he feels this sensation as if he is finally, finally home.

“Uhm… yeah.”

“Good.” Frankie says and he pulls away now. “Should we head back?”


	5. Chapter 5

Zach wakes up alone this morning, well, alone and with memories of Frankie’s lips against his and it has him freaking out for a good ten minutes before he can even sit up.

He kissed Frankie. _Frankie kissed him_.

The first person he kisses for real on _The Bachelor_ is the TV host sidekick. A guy. Not anyone of the girls, those beautiful girls who all want him and his attention, he kisses a guy. A guy. A guy with… _boy parts_. And _boy lips_.

And Zach _isn’t even gay_!

He grunts, hides his face in his hands, wondering what he should do with himself. How does people even deal with this, but then no, it’s not like he will find a handbook on this matter because he doubt _anyone_ except for himself ends up in a situation like this.

He thinks about what they would say back home, if he comes home saying that the one he has been having really fun with, the one he kisses, the one he has been sharing a bed with is not one of the girls.

He thinks about Drew’s face if he realizes that Zach has been off kissing boys while being surrounded by girls.

That thought alone is enough to make Zach feel a bit sick. He needs to change this.

 

**

 

“Zach!” Frankie calls out as he comes downstairs, waving with a napkin. “Saved you a seat!”

He is pointing to an empty chair next to him by the breakfast table, but Zach suddenly feels as if he really shouldn’t sit there. He hesitates and then he sits down next to Christine instead, nodding as she lights up and also Nicole and Victoria turn their attention to him instead.

“Hi girls, you look great today.” Zach looks at all of them, avoiding Frankie’s eyes as he reaches for the eggs. “Ready for a new exciting day together with me?”

“Of course.” The girls say at the same time, sighing happily and Zach smiles at them. He is about to say something else when Frankie suddenly speaks up.

“Well, well isn’t that my sexy man.”

It’s Cody who has appeared again, not spending more time here in the mornings than he has too, and always showing up looking as if he is a rock star on his way home from tour. Zach watches, or tries not to, as Frankie gets up and hugs Cody tightly, Cody laughing a little and hugging him back.

“Frankie please, these old rags, I look like a hobo.”

“Sexy hobo.” Frankie winks, and Cody chuckles and kisses Frankie’s cheek.

“Down tiger, not getting it today.”

Zach drops his fork, it falls to his plate, bounces, then down on the floor and he feels a blush spread on his cheek.

“You okay Zach?” Nicole looks up and Zach tries to laugh, slowly standing up.

“Of course I’m okay. I… I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

Frankie watches him as he leaves, a smirk playing on his lips as he wraps his arm around Cody, but Zach doesn’t notice because he is busy just hurrying into the bathroom. While inside he locks the door, resting his head against the cool tile of the wall and tries to calm down. What is wrong with him, is he seriously hiding in the bathroom because Frankie flirted with Cody?

He splashes his face with water.

No he isn’t. He didn’t sleep well, that’s all. He is tired. That’s all. It’s not like he is interested in Frankie, because Zach has all these girls, all these beautiful girls and he wants all of them.

 

**

Rest of the day it’s not that Zach actually _tries_ to stay away from Frankie, he just talks to the girls instead. And anyway, as he notices while chatting up Nicole in the garden, Frankie doesn’t seem to mind though. Frankie is all over Cody, Zach tries to remember if they have always been this way but he realizes he can’t remember, because since he got here, he has only noticed Frankie and how Frankie interacts with him, not given much thought to how Frankie interacts with others.

Not that it matters, because Zach is here to interact with the _girls_ anyway.

“Victoria has the cutest dresses though.” Nicole talks, Zach half listens while trying to look very interested because Hayden is there with a camera. “I mean have you looked at her dresses? They are so pretty. I wish I had cute dresses like that.”

“A dress isn’t everything.” Zach smiles a little, and puts an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. “You all have very different qualities that I like very much.”

Nicole smiles a little, placing her hand on Zach’s leg and they lean in for a kiss, Zach closes his eyes and he tries really hard to not see Frankie when he does meet Nicole’s lips.

Really hard.

 

**

They are heading out after an afternoon group date when Frankie grabs Zach’s arm, pulling him into an empty room and closes the door behind them. Zach feels a rush through his body, it gets even worse when Frankie pulls him closer, almost greedily and leans in closer to him.

“Want to tell me why you have been all over Nicole all day?” Frankie mutters. There’s a slight hint of something in his voice, Zach can’t really figure out what it is but it does sound a lot like jealousy. He feels his heart drop because of course, of course Frankie must be jealous but he just can’t deal with him being jealous right now. They are not supposed to be jealous. And if Frankie is jealous that would mean Zach would have to admit he was jealous and that is just not going to happen.

“You’ve been with Cody.” He says, avoiding the question. Frankie sighs.

“Answer my question, why are you all of a sudden being with Nicole like you two are high school sweethearts?”

“Because I’m the bachelor?” He replies, looking to the side, not meeting Frankie’s eyes. He can practically hear Frankie rolling his eyes. “I like her, I like girls.”

“Yeah, sure Zach.”

“Frankie…” Zach starts, but Frankie has already started walking away and he doesn’t really look like he will come back if Zach asks. Zach swallows, feeling really bad but he can’t deal with it right now. He just can’t.

 

During dinner and after most of the crew stays, it’s a rare night off and considering there are only 6 girls left now it feels a bit easier. Zach had always thought it would be more difficult for the girls to get a long the fewer or them that were left, but that doesn’t seem to be true. They are talking, hanging out and Nicole and Victoria looks like they are the best of friends, cuddled up in a sofa while talking about something Zach can’t hear.

“No Cody, get off, stop it.” Frankie suddenly giggles, and Zach looks over, noticing Cody tickling Frankie with a big peacock feather. Frankie is practically squirming, falling off his chair and Cody is on him right away, straddling him and tickling him with the feather. Derrick and Hayden are laughing at them and some of the girls cheer Cody on.

“Give up, Grande.” Cody smirks and Frankie squeals again.

“Suck my dick.”

“You wish, don’t you?”

“Frankie!” Zach hears himself talking without even thinking, his voice is loud and almost cracking and everyone heard him because suddenly everyone is looking up, Cody even stops tickling him. Zach swallows, feeling his face go red.

“Uh…” He stammers, not really sure what to say now so he doesn’t, he gets up and leaves instead.

“What’s his problem?” Christine giggles, and Frankie rolls his eyes.

“Give me a sec.”

Frankie chases Zach up the stairs, catching up with him just as they reach Zach’s room.

“Zach, wait.”

“Going to bed.” Zach mutters, opening the door and he isn’t planning for Frankie to follow him inside but he does. Zach feels his heart jump.

“Want to tell me what is going on or are you going to keep acting like a little bitch?”

Zach tries to kiss him. Lunges at him more likely, Frankie stopping him just as their lips almost touch, Frankie only hallway into the room and the door still open.

“Hold on.” Frankie mumbles, stepping inside and closing the door. Zach nervously bites his lip before he pulls Frankie closer again.

“Come here.”

“I thought you were going for the girls now.” Frankie mumbles, their lips clashing together as soon as Frankie is inside the room, Zach doesn’t even think now, he just knows he needs to feel Frankie’s lips and he wants it now, he doesn’t care what this makes them.

“I thought you were with Cody.” Zach replies, causing Frankie to chuckle a little.

“Nah.”

“Good.” Zach mumbles, greedily pulling Frankie closer, kissing him again and he can feel Frankie smiling against his lips.

“And why is that Zach? Because I’m yours?”

“Yes.” Zach murmurs without thinking, he just needs it to be out. Frankie giggles, that giggle again and _god_ , he drives Zach absolutely insane.

“You’re awfully possessive for someone who hasn’t even looked at me for three days when there are other people around.”

“Frankie.” Zach whines a little, he is honestly so not in the mood to discuss this, he wants to kiss, he wants Frankie in bed with him, he wants lots of things that isn’t a conversation about what they are doing and not doing. “It’s just… I mean…”

“Complicated?” Frankie asks and that’s that, the word that has Zach realizing that _it is_ complicated, and it’s not as if it will stop being complicated. And the heat of the moment is gone, his blood isn’t boiling now.

“Yes it’s complicated.” He says, pulling away from Frankie and wraps his arms around himself, as if he is cold but he isn’t. He just wants to shield himself from something. He doesn’t know what, but it’s like Frankie can see through him, and he can’t hide.

“Listen, I know it’s complicated because you’re here and supposed to, you know, but Zach if you start to…”

“No.” Zach interrupts. “Frankie, I’m not gay, like… I like girls. I am not gay.”

Frankie raises an eyebrow.

“You’re not gay. Bi then?”

“No, I’m straight.” Zach sits down on his bed, looking up at Frankie. “Listen, I like girls, I’m straight and…”

“I’m sorry.” Frankie rolls his eyes. “Last time I checked I am not a girl, but a boy, and you seem to be pretty into me. You’re even acting like a little jealous…”

“Just kiss me.” Zach whispers and Frankie laughs a little.

“You’re straight, Zach, remembers?”

“Please.” Zach mumbles, but Frankie shakes his head.

“No, because you know Zach, I understand the confusion and fear, and you’re in the worst situation but this? This is us. You and me in this room, no cameras, no girls, no Derrick wanting a show. It’s you and me and you can be honest with me but you’re not, not even now.”

“Frankie…”

“I am just not in the mood for being an experiment.” Frankie says, and he looks down at Zach with cold eyes, and Zach wants to pull him closer, want him to be near.

“Frankie please, just stay.” Zach whispers, trying not to tear up. “I am… I can’t really sleep without you.”

“Do you like boys?” Frankie asks, and Zach shakes his head, too quickly.

“I’m…”

“Straight. Yeah.” Frankie laughs a little. “Good luck with that, Zach. Sweet dreams.”

He kisses Zach’s forehead, and for a second Zach actually thinks he might stay, but then Frankie is leaving the room and Zach is alone. So very alone and the door closing almost feels as if it breaks his heart and that’s stupid, because he doesn’t like boys.

It’s just that Frankie is his friend and it sucks to sleep alone, Zach tells himself as he crawls into bed, thinking that it’s also just nerves about girls and everything, and missing home, that has tears building up in his eyes.

 

**

He doesn’t sleep long, he wakes up after what feels like an hour nap and it’s still dark outside. Something woke him up and he looks around trying to figure out what it was. Some sounds coming from outside, as if something is in the pool. Maybe birds or something.

He is about to go back to sleep when he hears something else, and he looks out the window when he hears voices outside, it’s dark but the lights are still there and they cast that ominous glow around the pool. It’s Frankie and Cody, clearly messing around with water and just each other, Cody laughing as Frankie tickles him, Frankie squealing as Cody splashes him with water. They look like they have lots of fun and Zach has to swallow. Frankie left his room and he went back to Cody and now they are in the pool.

He looks away as Frankie jumps up on Cody’s back in the pool, they look close and almost intimate and Zach wants to throw up. He doesn’t know why.

It’s not as if he is jealous, even if something was up between them. Why would he be?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes smut you're welcome.

“Close to the finale now.” Derrick tells Zach as they go over some details for the upcoming events. “The last four girls you take home to meet your family and friends. It will happen next week, day after the rose ceremony.”

Zach nods a little, far gone in his thoughts.

“Zach?” Derrick sounds irritated. “Are you listening to me?”

“Do you know if Cody is gay?” Zach hears himself asking, regretting it instantly but he can’t take it back. Derrick stares at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“I… I just…” Zach mumbles, looking down, speaking with a voice barely audible. “You know cause he looked pretty cozy with Frankie that’s all and I thought…”

“That they are together?” Derrick laughed a little. “Well does it matter if they are, as long as they don’t make out during the rose ceremony I’m all good.”

Zach turns a little pale, Derrick seems to notice because he looks at Zach again.

“Seriously, does it matter? You don’t like gay people or something?”

“No, no, that’s not… I just… wondered because…”

Zach was babbling, like he always did lately, it was like he couldn’t shut up. Derrick kept looking at him.

“Zach, it’s not like you like Cody or Frankie right? You are into the girls!”

“Yeah, of course, I’m straight.” Zach laughs, hoping he is convincing Derrick. Failing with convincing himself though. “I just you know… I was curious and…”

He decides he can’t talk his way out of this, and he gets up instead.

“I’m gonna go take a nap.”

As he walks upstairs he doesn’t notice Derrick waving for Hayden to come over, talking to him about something in hushed voices.

 

**

His top five girls turns out to be Nicole, Christine, Victoria, Paola and Amber. They are both happy and sad when he send Brittany home, Zach hugs her tightly before she leaves and he feels that it will be boring without her, but he had to make a choice. He doesn’t really know what will happen now when there are just five girls left, but he pushes the thoughts away that he soon needs to choose one of them to actually get together with. He knows he will have one more rose ceremony before the whole ‘meet the family’ event will happen and Zach pushes the thought of that away. He doesn’t know who he wants to bring, doesn’t know what to do about it.

All he knows is that he probably should talk to Frankie and he doesn’t know how.

 

**

“Are you busy?”

Zach looks up as he hears Frankie’s voice, and his body fills with an indescribable joy. He shakes his head quickly, he was reading a book but no book in the world is more important than talking to Frankie. Not that he would admit that if anyone asks him.

“No... What’s up?” He tries to sound all casual, like things between them hadn’t been awkward, like it hadn’t been quiet. Frankie sits down next to him and then before Zach knew it he had wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer. Zach sighs happily, moving closer to Frankie, not questioning at all that Frankie just decided to cuddle him. He likes it.

“Missed you.” Frankie whispers in his ear, and Zach feels a jolt go through his body.

“You did?”

“Of course I did. You’re my Zachary.”

Zach blushes a little. He moves even closer to Frankie, almost sitting on his lap now, but he doesn’t care.

“I am?”

Frankie moves his hand over Zach’s thigh.

“You are. You should stop fighting it.” He smiles a little, but Zach feels that familiar sensation of being way too nervous for his own good. He takes a deep breath.

“Frankie, I’m just… I’m…”

“Straight.” Frankie sighs and he doesn’t pull away now, he keeps his arms around Zach. “I know you are, but…”

“I just have to be.” Zach mumbles, almost feeling panicked now. “Because…”

“Frankie, can you get over here?” Derrick shows up out of the blue, interrupting them and staring at them. Zach admits it must look weird because they are cuddled up like a couple. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Frankie pulls away, and Zach feels himself almost clinging to his body as he does, but he lets him go. “What do you want Derrick?”

 

**

Zach is coming back from a date with Paola, finding a lot of the people in the living room as usual. Paola wants to go to bed, but Zach decides to see what everyone else is talking about. He isn’t really tired anyway.

When he walks into the room Frankie and Cody are laughing and messing around, apparently they are doing some kind of Youtube video because Zach can see Frankie’s camera. The one he has made videos of himself with for his channel. And videos with Zach.

Cody and Frankie aren’t doing anything that Zach did though. They are really messing around, touching each other playfully. Zach watches as Cody sucks a hickey into Frankie’s neck while Frankie giggles like crazy in front of the camera.

“Look what he is doing guys, the host of The Bachelor is a gay little monster!”

“Bi.” Cody corrects, he is smirking and pulls away, looking very pleased with his work. Even from across the room Zach can see the bruise on Frankie’s neck and it fills him with something he can’t even describe.

Cody’s hand rest on Frankie even when they are supposed to stop filming the video, Frankie saying something funny in conclusion and Zach closes his eyes, then looks the other way, but that can’t stop him from hearing the sound of their voices.

_And why is Cody even here every day now anyway?_

He feels like he might actually hate Cody. Yes. Cody is stupid and he even makes an attempt to follow Frankie to his bedroom when Frankie announces he is going to bed, _as if_ Cody would be allowed in bed with Frankie. Zach shakes his head, ignoring Cody and Frankie laughing about it and instead focuses on talking to Nicole and Victoria who is sitting on the floor next to the fireplace. They seem more interested in each other though and Zach doesn’t blame them, because he watches nothing else but Frankie walking upstairs. As Frankie waves goodbye to Cody and doesn’t even say a word to Zach, Zach gets up from his seat.

He probably hasn’t ever walked this fast up the stairs, Frankie is just closing the door as he gets there. He takes a deep breath and then he knocks on the door, Frankie opening it.

“I need to talk to you now.” He says, his face is probably flustered and he doesn’t care about that. Frankie looks a bit confused at first, but then he just leans against the door frame, looking at Zach with an amused smile on his face.

“Zach, I don’t think we have anything to talk about, you’ve made everything pretty clear…”

“Why do you do this? Why do you mess around with Cody? You’re doing it to hurt me.”

Frankie laughs a little and he shakes his head, stepping aside and letting Zach come into his room. Zach follows him.

“We don’t…”

“Shut up.” Zach says, slamming the door behind him, turning to face Frankie and he isn’t even sure why he is panting, isn’t sure if the blood pumping in his veins, isn’t sure if he is angry or turned on. “Stop this with Cody. Now.”

Frankie laughs coldly, smirking a little.

“Oh but why should I? He’s bi. You’re, like you said, straight, and I don’t…”

“Shut up!” Zach shouts, he isn’t sure if anyone can hear them but he doesn’t really care anymore because he is to the point of no return right now, it’s like a roaring beast inside him is crawling under his skin, ready to finally come out and he has no intention of stopping it.

“Zach, you really have nothing to say in this matter.” Frankie looks at him, meets his eyes and Zach just knows he is messing with him, just knows he is waiting for Zach to break.

“Shut up.” Zach whispers, voice now weak.

“Make me.” Frankie says, grinning viciously and Zach does just that, in a matter of seconds he has jumped Frankie, tackling him to the bed and their lips find each other right away, the kiss almost violent, needy and Zach feels as if his whole body is on fire now, he is burning up with need and it can only be satisfied with Frankie, only Frankie, nothing else. Frankie doesn’t pull away, doesn’t comment anything, he kisses Zach back and it’s so good, it’s so much better than any kiss Zach has ever had in his life, he can’t even think, that’s how good it is.

He crawls on top of Frankie, straddling him with confidence he didn’t even know he had, he should probably be nervous because he is in bed with a guy, he has never done anything like this before and it doesn’t take a brainiac to figure out what will happen, but Zach isn’t nervous, not at all.

He just wants it. Badly.

Frankie pulls Zach’s shirt off, it falls to the floor as Frankie reaches up to plant kisses on Zach’s chest, Zach closes his eyes. They don’t speak they just do, it is so natural and Zach doesn’t have to think, he can just go with it. Frankie rolls them over, straddling Zach now as soon as Zach has scooted up in bed a little, head resting on the pillows. Frankie smiles fondly looking down at him, and takes his own shirt off in one, smooth move before he starts kissing down Zach’s neck. Zach gasps as he feels those greedy lips, tilting his head so that Frankie can have more access to his neck, hoping he will take it because it feels like he will die if Frankie doesn’t kiss ever single bit of his skin. Frankie seems to determined to do just that though, he kisses down Zach’s neck slowly, moving to his shoulder and then his chest, soon sucking one of Zach’s nipples into his mouth, playing with the other and Zach moans softly, Frankie’s name lingering on his lips. It’s like his body is burning with every touch of Frankie’s lips, it’s indescribable what he can do to him, and Zach doesn’t even want to try to describe it, he just wants Frankie to keep doing it.

Without Zach even realizing how, Frankie manages to undress both of them. Zach swallows as he feels himself getting completely exposed, and he looks at Frankie’s naked body, eyes hungrily trailing all over his body and wow, he is so gorgeous, Zach thinks he deserves a medal for not jumping him sooner.

“Sure you want to…” Frankie mumbles, lips pressed against Zach’s ear now, and their bodies are lined up together. Zach can feel Frankie’s erection against his own, it’s big and he needs to take a shaky breath but then he nods.

“Y-yes please, I need you Frankie, I’ve wanted it… so long, please.”

His cheeks turn red as he admits that and Frankie smirks, reaching over to the side of his bed where his bag his, and he finds a bottle which Zach can only guess is some kind of lube or something, and condoms.

“If you want me to stop, tell me.” Frankie mumbles, but Zach doesn’t think he will be able to ask him to stop because he is so gone with pleasure, so filled with need. He watches Frankie squirt lube on his long, slender fingers, slowly slicking them up and Zach spreads his legs, and as Frankie lean down to kiss him slowly, he feels one of those fingers pressed against his rim.

“So beautiful.” Frankie mumbles as Zach tenses up. “Try to relax for me, baby.”

Zach bites his lip and nods, it’s easier said than done when Frankie is pressing a finger inside his ass, but he knows it will be good, he is sure of it and he has never wanted anything else more in his life. He whimpers as Frankie slowly works his finger inside him, it burns and it feels weird, and Zach cries out a little, not used to feeling like this and Frankie stops momentarily, looking down at him. Zach shakes his head, cupping his neck and pulling him closer.

“Please d-do it, please.”

Frankie works him open slowly, takes his time. It’s enough to drive Zach go crazy because one fingers works him open, two fingers, three fingers, and he is filled with desperation, filled with need, but he is also so very thankful that Frankie takes his time because he is not ready for his cock yet, pretty sure that will hurt like hell even though he wants it badly. Wants to know how it feels. Wants to be fully filled.

He wraps a hand around his own cock, stroking it slowly to give it some attention as well, it’s rock hard and leaking, he is honestly so close to coming, just from Frankie’s fingers inside him, brushing against sensitive spots deep inside him and he has no idea how Frankie can do this to him, how he can have this effect on him. He is lost in lust and need when Frankie mumbles against his ear.

“Ready for me, baby?”

Zach bites his lips harshly and nods, feeling Frankie’s finger disappear from him and watches as Frankie rolls a condom onto his length, giving it a few pumps.

“Please roll over on your stomach.” Frankie whispers, kissing him softly, the hand not stroking his own cock, instead stroking Zach’s. “It’s easier like that for the first time.”

Zach nods, trusting Frankie because what else can he do? He rolls over his stomach and chest pressed against the bed, face hidden in the pillow. He feels Frankie’s hands move over his back, cupping his ass and then Zach’s bites his lip as he feels the head of Frankie’s cock pressed against his entrance, and he screams into the pillow as Frankie slowly slide inside him.

It hurts. It really hurts and Zach tears up, screaming into the pillow and Frankie stays still, rubbing his neck, rubbing his back and Zach takes deep breath, breathing in through his nose and out of his mouth, slowly feeling the pain disappear.

“Are you okay?” Frankie whispers and Zach nods.

“Y-yes. Please go on, you can move.”

It’s not rough. It’s gentle, needy, but not desperate. Frankie takes his time, going slow, each thrust slow and gentle as if he knows how Zach feels, can read his mind and Zach is so lost in bliss, it feels great, it feels as if he was meant to do this because like this, like this Frankie hits his bundle of nerves, hits every spot inside his body that feels good, that Zach doesn’t even know he had and he fills him completely. Each time Frankie moves, he pulls out almost all the way and then in again, finding the right angles to just drive Zach absolutely insane. The way it makes Zach whimper, begging, he can’t even understand that it’s actually him doing all those things but it is, and with every move of Frankie’s hips, every stroke from his hands, Zach feels himself moaning even louder.

“You look so beautiful.” Frankie mumbles, quickening his pace after Zach moans appreciatively. “So, so beautiful.”

“F-fuck.” Zach whispers, and he wished he didn’t feel that familiar sensation in his lower abdomen, not already, but he does, he is so close and he’s going to come any second now, especially when Frankie manages to do that to him. “I’m…”

“Close? Me too. You feel so good.” Frankie pants, and that is what pushes Zach over the edge, knowing he is good enough for Frankie. He comes, spilling over the sheets while he moans Frankie’s name out loud, Frankie not far behind. With almost as big of a moan as the one Zach just left out, Frankie comes inside him, filling up the condom as his lips are pressed against Zach’s neck.

Zach is so over the top, not wanting to come down from his high, he doesn’t even feel as Frankie pulls out of him, really doesn’t notice as Frankie gets rid of the condom.

When he drifts off to sleep, he doesn’t notice Frankie wrapping his arms around him, but he knows that he feels perfectly fine being just like this.

 

 

**

Zach is so sore when he wakes up, it’s like he wonders if he will ever even be able to walk again. He looks to the side to see Frankie, but Frankie isn’t there and suddenly Zach feels scared, did Frankie really just bail on him? He is just close to full panic mode when the door to the bathroom opens and Frankie comes out. He smiles as the way Zach feels relieved must be seen on his face.

“Hey there. How are you feeling?”

“Sore.” Zach admits because he can’t lie, he feels really sore and it’s not like Frankie isn’t going to notice anyway. Frankie chuckles, sitting down on the bed and kisses Zach’s head.

“It was great babe.”

Zach blushes a little. He feels all nervous and still happy. He tilts his head up, showing Frankie he wouldn’t mind a morning kiss and Frankie seems to get the hint, because he leans in and kisses him softly.

“We need to get down to breakfast.” He mumbles as he pulls away from Zach, and Zach nods.

“Y-yeah, I guess we do.”

“We’ll just talk after that, okay?” Frankie says and Zach nods.

“Yeah. Yeah okay.”

 

 

**

He doesn’t have time to talk to Frankie at all though, because all day they are busy with other things, leading up to the rose ceremony that night and when it’s over Frankie is called away. Zach has to sleep alone, trying to not think about it too much because obviously they have things to do and it doesn’t have to mean anything.

The next day they are busy as well, Zach is in meetings with Derrick and they film lots of stuff for the upcoming trip, and the first time that day when Zach has time to actually talk to someone, Frankie is gone again.

He ends up talking to Nicole instead.

“I am so happy you picked us as your final 4.” Nicole tells him, he has found her again by the side of the pool and it is easy to talk to her, it really is, easier than with the rest of the girls. Especially when there are no cameras, which there isn’t right now because it’s not time for filming. Zach nods. The rose ceremony last night he let Amber go home, it was very emotional for them, but now it’s starting to come to an end.

“Yeah, of course. You are my favorites.”

“So, who do you think will be the lucky girl in the end?” Nicole asks, smiling a little and Zach suddenly feels so guilty because if this continues, there probably won’t be a lucky girl in the end. He doesn’t feel anything for them.

“You know… I…”

He stops, he doesn’t even know what to say, doesn’t know how to explain because it is just so complicated. And it can probably be read all over his face

“It’s okay.” Nicole laughs, and Zach is so, so very thankful that she isn’t yelling at him. Or being mad. Because she could be mad, it wouldn’t be weird. “I’m not blind, you know, I actually do have eyes and I think anyone here with a couple of eyes can see the way you and Frankie look at each other.”

Zach blushes hard, he can’t help it and he bites his lip. If others notice the way they look at each other, that really must mean it’s something there, but he just doesn’t know what. And if only everyone knew what they had done…

“Uh…”

Nicole puts her hand on his knee.

“I won’t tell them, okay? Production. And it’s not like you’re the only one who ended up here wanting something else then you thought you would, I…” She looks up noticing Victoria by the pool and there is a smile on her face that Zach knows all too well. He doesn’t comment on it though, thinking that if she wants to tell him, she can.

“It’s a mess.” He whispers. “It’s just such a mess Nicole, and I don’t know what to do, and I think I really…”

“It will be okay.” Nicole promises, and Zach wants to believe her but right now it’s just difficult, it’s difficult because there’s just so much happening and he is scared.

“How?” He asks. “When all I do seems to be to make the wrong choices all the time.

Nicole shrugs, looking at him.

“Maybe you have to start making the right choices then. And try to be calm, and be happy. We’re visiting your family tomorrow, that’s nice isn’t it?”

Zach nods, and he has mixed feelings in his gut while he thinks about what will happens tomorrow. Back to home. Back to Drew. Family.

Showing off the girl he is supposed to marry. _Girl_.


	7. Chapter 7

They have to get up really early the day they fly out to meet Zach’s family. Zach is a nervous wreck. Part of him is so happy to meet his family again because apart from Drew, he hasn’t met a lot of them in a long time. But he is also nervous because all day he has thought about nothing else but his night with Frankie, but they still haven’t been able to talk about it. Apart from Frankie kissing his head at the breakfast table when no one else was around, it’s been quiet and whenever Zach thinks he could get some time alone with Frankie, Hayden or Derrick has been there to give them some tasks or something to do.

He tries to not think about it because now they are going to his home. Him, the 4 girls, Cody, Frankie and of course everyone in production.

It can be a disaster. Or it can be great.

Zach isn’t really sure yet.

 

**

His mom takes what feels like forever to hug him and welcome him home, his dad does the same. His siblings and friends aren’t as crazy, but there’s a group hug, a really long one, before Zach takes the time to introduce all of the girls to the family and Drew, who has of course showed up.

When introductions are over, the girls are supposed to get one-on-one time with his mom, so Zach has time to talk to Drew, which Drew happily accepts, pulling him with him upstairs away from cameras and to Zach’s room.

“Dude, they are so gorgeous I can’t even.” Drew groans as him and Zach closes the door to Zach’s room, getting some time away from the rest of them. The girls are probably still chatting with his mom and production is taking a coffee break, Zach doesn’t know where Frankie went and it makes him feel a bit uneasy. Stupid. Frankie is probably just off shooting some material for his work, he needs to stop thinking about where Frankie goes all the time. Frankie really charmed his mom though, the both of them had talked before the thing with the girls started, so that was better than what he had expected.

“I know.” He says, apparently only with those two words showing that something isn’t right because Drew looks at him, grabbing his arm.

“Dude, why aren’t you like, jumping up and down of happiness? You’re in paradise man, all those girls want you and they are so gorgeous. Like wow, gorgeous. You’ve never had anyone _that_ gorgeous before.”

“I know.” Zach says, trying to look away from Drew because he feels really uncomfortable right now. Drew shakes his head.

“Then what’s the matter huh? Why aren’t you happy? Why aren’t we right now discussing what you’re gonna do with one of them, all of them, why aren’t you telling me what you’ve…”

“Because I haven’t!” Zach interrupts him with a loud voice, making Drew’s jaw completely drop in surprise.

“What?”

“I haven’t touched anyone of them. I mean. Not because I wanted, we did… I mean because I had to… I don’t want anyone. Of the girls. I…”

“I’m sorry, I must have gone temporarily deaf because I don’t think I heard you correctly.” Drew says, staring Zach down as if he is an idiot. Zach feels like one. “You’re telling me you’ve been in this house for weeks, all these beautiful ladies and you haven’t touched anyone, not taken the chance to get laid, not…”

“I did get laid.” Zach mutters, it slips out before he has time to think and Drew stares at him. Zach wants to disappear through the ground, he really shouldn’t have said that. Drew grabs his arm.

“Zach, what the fuck man, tell me what’s going on?”

Zach takes a deep breath and as he talks, it’s like he finally realizes what it is he wants. Like everything falls into place. He takes another deep breath and when he speaks again, his voice doesn’t tremble. It doesn’t even shake. He meets Drew’s eyes with determination, he knows what he wants now.

“I haven’t been with anyone of the girls, because none of them made me feel anything. I fell for someone else almost the second I got to the house. And… it’s not anyone of the girls. It’s… not a girl.”

He can see Drew getting pale, and suddenly he realizes that he is actually here, in his old room, coming out to his best friend and suddenly he feels nervous, but he keeps going.

“I’ve fallen for a guy. Frankie. We… we’ve been doing things, and god, Drew when I’m with him I just… it’s like we have this bond, you know?” He feels himself smiling, suddenly filled with nothing but happy feelings. Thinking about Frankie. “Like you know how I said I’m straight, that I date women, and I thought that was true and it is but wow, with Frankie I just… it felt from day 1 like he is my boyfriend, like I truly think… feel like he is my boyfriend. Even though we haven’t… we just have this bond and… god, Drew I…”

“Stop.” Drew interrupts him and his voice is weak, he looks pale and he sits down on the bed, staring up at Zach who nervously bites his lip.

“I know this is…”

“Fucking hell Zach.”

Zach is quiet, biting his lip because he doesn’t really know what to say. Drew still looks pale, as if he as seen a ghost.

“Are you… freaked out?” Zach whispers, really hoping that Drew won’t turn out to be angry at him or something. Worried that he might get judged. Drew looks up as Zach and takes a deep breath.

“I… I don’t know… I… damn, Zach, this is not what I expected to happen when you go away to be on The Bachelor!”

“I know. Me either.” Zach whispers. “But listen, I really, really like him and it will probably be complicated and I have acted a bit like a dick to him and… well I am on The Bachelor. But I want it to work out so…”

“You’re gonna date a guy.”

“I…”

“Oh god.” Drew shakes his head. “Zach are you sure? Like… are you really sure? Because man, those girls, they were some pretty fine girls man, are you… are you sure?”

Zach finds himself nodding quickly, because there’s no doubt in his mind anymore.

“I’m sure, Drew. If I’m going for anyone I meet in that house, it will be Frankie. He’s great. You’ll see. He is just… he is great.”

Drew still looks pale. But he doesn’t question it anymore.

“Well… is that what you want?” Drew asks, looking up at Zach after just a few minutes. “Will the production get upset about it?”

Zach shrugs. He doesn’t really know.

“I don’t think so. Like… how often does this Bachelor relationships last anyway?”

“True.” Drew mumbles, and then he smiles a little. “So, what do you think is for dinner?”

 

**

The journey back is when Zach decides he is going to tell Frankie. Tell him that he’s not confused anymore. Tell him that he wants this, doesn’t want to act straight anymore or not interested because the only one he is interested in is Frankie. His mind plays up all the moments they have had since Zach got here and it’s just amazing how he could be this stupid. Of course he wants Frankie. He doesn’t know what it means but of course it’s Frankie he wants.

They are getting out of the car, the others are heading into the house and there’s only Frankie left. Zach takes a deep breath and walks up to him.

“Frankie I… need to talk to you?”

Frankie looks up.

“About what? Let me guess… you are straight.”

Zach shakes his head.

“N-no, that’s not it, Frankie, I know we haven’t had time to talk but I… I want to talk to you about…”

“Zach, I really have to get some stuff finished for…” He doesn’t finish the sentence, he just starts walking. Zach has no idea why, but it makes him feel weird.

“Come on, we haven’t talked since…” He stops himself, because he doesn’t want to say it out loud, not now when everything feels weird. Zach swallows.

“I know.” Frankie says. “And it’s because I don’t have time. And I don’t have time now, so if you just…”

“Frankie, please listen.” Zach grabs his arm, desperate for him to hear this. “I want this, I want us. I know you think that maybe I’m just confused and I know I… I know I acted like I… was, but Frankie please. I want you.”

Frankie tenses up, he is not quite facing Zach yet, he just stares out into the distance, the distance where you can almost see the lake as if that lake is way more interesting than what Zach has to say. It annoys him a little but he tries again as Frankie doesn’t react.

“I don’t know how to do the… boyfriends thing, and I… but I want to try, okay? I don’t want this to just be some… fling or… experiment or…” He groans, hating that he can’t find the right words, hating everything. “I want you. I don’t know if this is… love or… on its way of becoming love but all I know is that I woke up this morning and I realized that I don’t want anyone of those girls that are left, I don’t want any girls home, I want a boy, no, wait, I don’t just want a boy, I want you, you’re the one I want, I want to be with you and Frankie, I think you want to be with me too because… we are…”

He stops, because Frankie is now turning to face him for the first time since this conversation started. It’s not easy to read what’s on his mind, because Frankie doesn’t look like he is thinking much of anything, it’s almost as if he is looking past Zach. Zach swallows.

“Frankie if I… if this was… I mean, I would give you my last rose without even thinking. Because all I know, after all these weeks is that… I want you to have it.”

Frankie clears his throat.

“I don’t want it.”

Zach feels as his blood turns to ice. As if someone smacked his head in with a rock.

“You…”

“You heard me.” Frankie says, and now he is meeting Zach’s eyes and his eyes looks almost as cold as Zach’s blood feels, and he looks completely indifferent to what Zach just said. “I don’t want this. I don’t want a stupid rose, I don’t want the boyfriend thing. I don’t want you. You think I’m stupid enough to settle down with a sexually confused wannabe model? No thank you, I have better things to do in life.”

“Frankie!” Zach tears up, he has never, ever, cried in front of someone because of this before but he has on the other hand never, ever had to hear something even remotely close to what Frankie is saying right now. “You…”

“Listen.” Frankie interrupts him again. “We had sex, it was good, I thought I’d have to wank my way through this job but thankfully you were here so thanks for that, but it’s all that it was okay? Some fun and sex. The whole love thing is just not for me, so sorry if you thought I wanted something more I guess.”

“Frankie.” Zach tears up even more, and now one tear trickle down his cheek. “Is this because I said I was straight because I’m sorry, I’m stupid, I was scared, and I just…”

“No, you don’t get it.” Frankie rolls his eyes. “I don’t want the boyfriend thing, I’m sorry if you thought us having sex would mean me loving you forever and that we’re like… soul mates or something but it’s not like that. I’ve had sex with straight boys before, I’m gonna have sex with straight boys again, I just really didn’t think it would turn you so… clingy and desperate for my dick that you want a relationship or something.”

“Frankie.” Zach whispers, and now he really is crying and it’s like all he can say is Frankie, repeat Frankie’s name over and over again. Frankie rolls his eyes.

“Please don’t start crying as well, god, if I knew this would happen I really would have just stayed away to begin with, but you’re such a cute one I just wanted to see if I could get you. It wasn’t even that hard.”

Zach wants to slap him. He should slap him. But he doesn’t.

“I…”

“Cody needs to see me about something.” Frankie says instead. “Take care Zach, I’ll see you the next ceremony, send the right one home, okay?”

“Stop!” Zach yells after him. “Frankie, why… why are you doing this, you… you said…”

“Babe, please.” Frankie rolled his eyes, looking back at Zach and Zach honestly never thought in his life that something could hurt this bad. “I know I said some things, but it’s who I am, I flirt and I was very interested in getting you into bed. That was all. Nothing else. You were good, but it was nothing special. Now…”

Zach looks away, he doesn’t hear the last thing that Frankie says because he just can’t listen to it anymore, it feels like with every word coming out of Frankie’s mouth, Zach hurts even more.

Frankie disappears into the house, and Zach slowly walks up to his room, closing the door behind him. When he is inside, it takes Zach ten minutes before he walks into the bathroom in his room, looks at his face in the mirror and starts crying. He cries harder than he has ever cried before. Cries until he falls to the floor, cries while wrapping his arms around his legs, crawling up like a ball, crying until there are no tears left and then he cries a bit more.

He doesn’t know what is going on, but he is pretty sure that if he has ever before felt lost, it is nothing to what he feels right now.

How could he be so stupid?


	8. Chapter 8

The morning after, Zach is pretty sure he has cried all night and he doesn’t even make any effort to hide it, until he notices Frankie at the breakfast table, acting like nothing ever even happened last night. Zach wants to punch him in the face, spill his coffee over his probably expensive, stupid shorts. Just wants to do something. He doesn’t though, he just tries to sit down, chat with the other, act as nothing is going on.

Like is heart isn’t still in pieces on that bathroom floor.

It’s like everything is in slow motion now, Zach just wants it to end. It seems like it takes forever for the days to go, rose ceremonies where he sends home Paola and Christine, leaving Victoria and Nicole for final 2 and the two who he will chose between. Zach smiles for the camera, talks to Derrick and Cody, but he isn’t really there.

He just does what he is told. Nothing more, nothing less.

And then he sleeps as much as he can.

The final day can’t come quick enough, and when he wakes up he starts packing as soon as possible, just wanting it over with, waiting for the afternoon where they will start filming. Choosing a girl. Being happy.

He wants to throw up.

 

The crew has set everything up perfectly in the garden. They are going to do two takes with each girl and then Zach will finally announce who he will give the ring to, a ring Derrick proudly shows him just before they start filming. Zach isn’t that interested, he just looks at it and smiles, and then Derrick leaves.

Cody shows up last minute this day, and Zach hasn’t even seen Frankie. Not that he cares. He is just about to get ready for the first take with Victoria, when Cody grabs his arm.

 

“Zach.” Cody pulls him aside, whispering in his ear. “I’m sorry, but I think there’s something you should know.”

“What?” Zach says, his voice monotone and not feeling really anything. He just wants this over with, he has already told Nicole he will pick her and then she and him will pose for pictures and pretend to be a happy couple until they can go home and she can get with Victoria, and Zach… can just go home.

“About Frankie. He quit this morning.”

Zach snorts. Cody sighs.

“Listen, I know that you… but you should know that the reason he did is cause Derrick…”

“Listen, Cody, I don’t need to hear this.” Zach interrupts and he is so annoyed now, he just wants this over with and Cody stands there looking as if he knows things and he doesn’t he doesn’t know shit about him or Frankie. “Can we just do this. I’m picking Nicole. Can we just get it over with and you’ll have your show.”

Cody pulls him closer.

“He didn’t want to, okay? It was Derrick.”

“Please.” Zach laughs coldly. “You’re gonna try to get me to believe that Derrick is behind all this? Frankie fucking me and then telling me all those things, breaking my heart? No.”

Cody tilts his head, biting his lip.

“He broke your heart?”

Zach shakes his head quickly.

“No. I feel nothing for Frankie Grande. Now please let’s get this over with.”

Cody shakes his head.

“Zach, I know him, okay? I know that Derrick threatened to have him fired and stuff, ruined his reputation and he also told him that he would be stupid if he was going to try something with you, that confused boys on The Bachelor would never stay, and he was scared and…”

“Cody, I don’t want to hear this.” Zach says, voice firm. “Just shut up, because I know exactly what he told me, and I don’t need your explanations. Now please can we get this over with?”

Cody bites his lip, it looks as if he wants to say something else, but they don’t. They start filming instead.

 

**

Both Nicole and Victoria cry. Zach is actually impressed with how good they are at acting like they actually care about who he will pick. It must look great on TV. When he finally asks Nicole, opening the box with the ring, he is actually a little teary eyed himself from her reaction. They hug, share a quick kiss and then it’s over. Cody talks to both of them, saying they will hear from them again as they do an episode to see how their life is now when they are on the way of being a married couple. They smile through it, then there’s more footage of the house, of them, of the romantic scenery and then, after what feels like forever, Derrick yells.

“Cut, it’s a wrap for this season everyone. Great job!”

Zach feels so relieved he can’t even hide it, he takes a deep breath and lets go of Nicole who doesn’t seem to mind.

“Can we go home?”

Derrick glares at him.

“You know, you’re lucky we got this good, you could have ruined everything with your little fling with Frankie. Thank god he finally admitted he didn’t want you.”

Zach feels cold inside, Derrick looks really angry and for a moment, Zach wonders if what Cody says was right, if Derrick is behind this. But he pushes those thoughts away – no one could have made Frankie say all those things to him. It’s on Frankie, not Derrick.

“Yeah.” Is all he can say, because how is he supposed to react. Derrick sighs.

“It was a good season anyway, I’ll give you that. You do look good on camera, I can see why you’re trying to modelling industry.”

Zach just nods, doesn’t want to talk anymore. He just wants to go home. Wants this over with.

 

He cries again when the taxi takes him to the airport and he realizes that he just wants to talk to Frankie and he can’t.

 

 

**

Zach and Nicole still keep in touch even when their ‘breakup’ is plastered all over the few magazines that still care about them and _The Bachelor_. Zach stops replying to journalists a few months after the breakup, takes a few better modelling job now when he is suddenly a bit more famous to the industry.

Mostly he just tries to keep busy. He works and talks to his mom, and he tries to get back into golf, and when people try to talk to him he answers and is polite, accepts numbers from girls and boys the few times he goes out.

He checks Frankie’s Youtube channel once. Just once, to see what videos are there, but there aren’t any new videos after _The Bachelor_ , the last video update is Frankie saying he is taking a break, going on hiatus and to travel and that he will be back when he’s back. Zach feels his heart almost breaking a second time, he isn’t sure why but it’s like it would make him feel better if he knew Frankie was… real. Right now he is seriously starting to question if Frankie even was in that house, he is gone and it’s like Zach almost made him up. Then he finds the videos on the website that he made with Frankie, Frankie kissing his cheek before they finish the video and he wants to cry again. Only he has stopped crying now.

 

**

It’s summer, hot and humid and Zach is home after a morning jog when he finds a letter under his door. Puzzled he reaches down to pick it up, it just has his name on it so it’s clearly left their by the one writing it, it hasn’t been sent by actual mail. Inside his a note, it’s short but with a clear message.

_Meet me at bridge by the park. You know which one. Tonight, 9._

He swallows hard and he feels his hand trembling, body filling with both anger and confusion. It’s been 6 months, 6 long months and here he is getting weird messages. He thinks about not going. He shouldn’t go. He rips the note into pieces, tossing it in the bin. He shouldn’t go.

 

He hates himself when he locks his apartment and starts walking to the park. It’s getting dark, the summer heat slowly fading away into that much more pleasant summer night warmth. He hates himself for every step he takes towards the park, hates that it’s that bridge that was mentioned. He used to go there a lot when he was a kid, and he can’t even know who else would know about this than Drew. And Drew wouldn’t send him weird messages.

The bridge is one of those wooden, old movie ones, painted white. It’s empty when Zach gets there and he wonders why someone called him there if they’re not actually going to be there. He thinks about turning around, going back home, when he notices something on bridge. There’s a red rose.

He doesn’t know how it got there, but it’s obvious who left it. Zach tears up as he reaches for the rose, thinking it needs to be picked up, when someone walks up next to him.

“You got my message.”

Frankie’s voice is low, quiet, so unlike the first time they met but it’s still _Frankie_. Zach wants to turn around, face him, see if it’s really _him_ but he is scared that if he does, he will either start crying or punch Frankie in the face, and neither option seems like a good thing at the time. He can tell that it’s him, even without looking at him he can just tell that it’s him. He is here and Zach has no idea why, no idea in the world to why Frankie has chosen to show up right now. Only that he did.

“You’re an idiot.” He mumbles, closing his eyes when he feels Frankie’s hand on his arm. It’s careful, as if Frankie is afraid Zach will slap his hand away. He probably should. He doesn’t though, but he moves a little, enough so that Frankie can’t touch him unless he really reaches out for him, and Frankie doesn’t do that.

“Zach, I really wish you would let me explain…”

Zach shakes his head. He doesn’t want to hear it. He really doesn’t. This can’t be happening, Frankie can’t just show up like this. He just can’t. Zach wants to leave. He wants to go home. Forget the note, forget everything.

“Zach, please.” Frankie pleads, and now Zach turns to face him, opening his eyes when they are opposite each other. If people are walking past them, Zach doesn’t know because all he can see is Frankie. Frankie’s face is covered in a weak smile, he is obviously holding back tears and just the thought of Frankie holding back tears makes it even harder for Zach to not cry. He can feel his anger slowly disappearing and he hates that, so he shakes his head to get the image of a weak Frankie out of his mind. He can’t forgive this.

“There’s nothing to explain.” Zach mumbles, looking down at his shoes. He doesn’t want explanations, but as soon as he looks down, Frankie cups his face, tilting his face up so that he can look at him again. Zach swallows.

“I was a dick.” Frankie whispers, and Zach mumbles quickly. “God, I was such a fucking dick to you.”

“Yeah, you were.”

“I was scared and Derrick also told me to leave you the fuck alone, and I didn’t want to mess with the show. That was very stupid of me.”

“You were stupid.”

“I got scared and I was a coward.”

“All true.” Zach mumbles and he is still looking at Frankie, Frankie looking back at him with trembling lips, even his hand is trembling and Zach can tell because he is still holding on to his face.

“Zach, please just know that every night, every single night I replay that conversation we had and I wish I could take every word back, I wish I could say what I really wanted to say. I wish I hadn’t been a coward, I wish I could have… told you the truth, but I thought…”

Zach scoffs, trying to not really show how he is actually fighting tears more than ever right now.

“I think your message was pretty clear that day.” He mumbled, meeting Frankie’s eyes. “I didn’t mean anything to you. I get it. I was just someone good to have around to get your dick some action.”

Frankie shakes his head so quickly Zach is worried it might fall off.

“That’s not it. Zach, do you want to hear what I should have said? What I wanted to say that day, but that I’m in my stupidity and being scared Derrick would have my head cut off, I didn’t.”

Zach shakes his head slowly, closing his eyes.

“No, Frankie I do not want to hear. You don’t have to do this.”

“Zach…”

“Frankie no!” Zach shouts, cutting him off without wanting him to ever speak again. “Do you have any idea how it felt? I opened up to you, I was scared as fuck, and you completely made me feel like the biggest idiot on the planet. I know I didn’t treat you well at first but I was scared, I had never liked a boy before, I truly thought I was straight and then you show up! You show up and you just changed my fucking world. It scared me. But I let you in, I tried, and then you turned me down. Not only turned me down, you had me believe I was… I was like some kind of stupid kid being used. Do you have any idea how it felt?”

Frankie tears up.

“I’m sorry, Zach, I’m so fucking sorry.” He says, tears streaming down his face. “I’m…”

“And not only that.” Zach continues, because he has a lot of bottled up anger, lot of issues he hasn’t been able to sort out and now Frankie is here and Zach won’t stop until Frankie has heard every word he needs to say. _Every single word_. “Then you just disappear. No way to contact you, no way to know if you’re even alive or what’s going on, it was like one day you were there, just close to me all the time and then the next day you are gone, vanished from the face of Earth and I was so lonely, I was so scared and I cried so fucking much over you and now what, now when I’m finally starting to get over you, now when I’m finally starting to be able to move on you show up like this?” Zach has tears streaming down his face now as well, he can’t stop it. Doesn’t want to. “What do you want from me? Just leave me alone. Isn’t it enough that you completely broke my heart, that I’m completely heartbroken, what else do you want from me?”

“I’m in love with you.” Frankie says, wiping his eyes. “Zach I know I was a complete ass and I deserve no chances, I deserve nothing from you but I’m so fucking in love with you Zach Rance, I’m in love with you.”

“You can’t say that.” Zach says, clenching his fists and biting his lip hard. “You can’t show up and tell a guy you’re in love with him after leaving like that.”

“Maybe I can’t.” Frankie whispers, and he moves closer now, his arms carefully wrapping around Zach, and Zach has no idea why he lets him do it. “But I am in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since I saw you the first time, but I don’t fall for straight guys Zach, and I tried so hard to not fall for you, but you made it impossible. And we… the night we… it was the best night of my life, but I was so scared you would freak and say you were straight again, and then Derrick shows up and… I was so stupid, there are no excuses for what I did but Zach, I’ve spent the last months trying so hard to forget about you but I can’t. I’m in love with you and I guess it will stay that way. Because even when we’re not together, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Stop.” Zach whispers, tears streaming down his face. “This isn’t some kind of romantic movie. You can’t fix everything with words and your hugs and you can’t kiss me and think…”

“I know.” Frankie whispers. “But can I please try?”

Zach shakes his head, but his body does something else, his arms wrap around Frankie and he pulls him closer, kissing him with every bit of love he has inside him, every tear, every hurtful thoughts. Frankie kisses him back, holding him close and Zach feels safe, he feels so safe.

“You’re so stupid.” Zach mumbles. “You broke my heart Frankie Grande. You broke my heart.”

“I know.” Frankie whispers back, running his fingers through Zach’s hair. “I plan to fix that. No more games, no more hiding, no more being scared. This is it, okay? You and me. It might not be perfect but god, I will try every day to make you as happy as I possibly can. It’s you and me.”

“You and me.” Zach thinks about it and it feels right, he should probably be more careful, probably shouldn’t forgive Frankie right away, but he doesn’t want to hide anymore, he doesn’t want to be away, he wants to try. “You and me.”

“You and me.” Frankie repeats and they kiss again, Zach can almost feel his blood pulsating in his veins because this is it, this is it and Frankie is his, and he’s going to keep him. He doesn’t want to let go.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” Frankie mumbles after they break the kiss, and Zach laughs a little.

“I had never met someone like you before. Of course I can’t forget it.”

“You were so cute, I just wanted to jump out of a window because I was so disappointed you were straight. And then…”

Zach shakes his head.

“I am pretty sure most of my straight disappeared when I saw you. And when you hugged me. Fuck, Frankie.” He sighs, looking at him. “You really messed me up. I was a complete mess, I…”

“I’m so sorry my baby.” Frankie whispers, and he pulls Zach even closer again. “Just please give me a chance and it will be okay. The thing you said, that you didn’t know how to do the boyfriend thing but you still want to try… I guess it is the same for me. I haven’t been serious with everyone for a long, long, long time but with you… with you I want to be serious forever.”

Zach can’t even describe how he feels. It’s like it is a dream. He really hope it isn’t. Frankie pulls him in for another kiss, Zach melts into his arms like he was made to be in them. He probably was. He almost whines a little when Frankie pulls away, but it’s only to bend down and pick up the rose that has been forgotten there on the ground since they got there. Frankie holds it, pulls Zach closer and kisses him again.

“Will you accept this rose?” Frankie mumbles against his lips, not being able to hold back a smile and Zach feels the same, he is smiling like a fool into the kiss, then he shakes his head.

“No, not now.” And when he feels Frankie tense up, he laughs and pulls him closer, looking him deep in the eyes as he murmurs. “Ask me again in the morning.”

 

_The End._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading x

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to discuss this with me on tumblr :)
> 
> [shippingzankie](http://shippingzankie.tumblr.com/)


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